Typhoon No.8

Wind fall holiday came just like a lottery. Since it was not a hard earnt holiday, the time was burnt aimlessly.

Served on the web, played with Wii fit for 45 mins, organised my itunes, created my "workout" playlist, watched 2nd half of "21"...

Pray for my iphone babe

Get well soon

Did it once, and now twice

Because of one comment by D, I went on diet in 2005 November. I got rid of 4Kg. I gained them back in the course of one year.

I let go in 2007. And now, I have to take the consequence.

2008, no D by my side, I decided, it's time for me to do it again.

First time in 3 years

For 3 hours, we sat at Redmoon, chating over 2 sparkling and 2 single whisky on rocks.
First time in 3 years we had such long talk. It was light hearted and fun.

First time in 3 years, we were no longer hotelier and guest, we are friends.

One thing didn't change is, it is enjoyable looking at his handsome face.

Solo walk home from Sunday Yoga

The walk home after my Sunday yoga is truely therapeutic. My body was well sweated and stretched at the session. My mind was calm and clear. Listening to my favourite tunes, I enjoyed the little 15 minutes walk home. Daydreaming. Vistualising my favourite moments of the past week. That's a private little place I found after moving back home.

3rd round at 5 Bowen Road

Daniel frowned when I reached. Well, he did it as he knew he was getting the girls attention. He was excited about seeing me. But today, there were too many people in the room. The attention was diverted.

Sunny was a bit blue today. We were guessing it was about Henry's departure. And I was surprised by learning that Sunny is actually much older than he appears.

Pheonix lowered his head while I was sitting in front of him. He petted me when I looked away. Then I realise, my presence meant something to him.

Henry looked very sharp today. May be he is getting ready to stand on his own, leaving the big warm family.

by his side

Death seems remote but near.

I don't know how to react when I was told by a good friend about his loss. Hope a box of hand delivered pastries could offer a little support to the grief.

He told me, the box was opened at the end of the family dinner. The muffins, danishes, croissants and scones were shared among the family. And their breakfasts of the next morning were then well taken care of.

I smiled.

Some more about new friends

This time, I spent more time with Chuk Nam, Abraham and Wallace. Of course, I have not forgotten Sunny and Daniel.

Chuk Nam is emotional and wants to be served. He pays attention to our talking at the table and easily gets agitated he was th subject of discussion.

Abraham is the little one yet smart. He is not acting like a gentleman when eating his lunch. Shake head...

Laughing with head falling behind... over very simple jokes... or funny gestures... gegegegege...

12 new friends

Last Sunday, I met them at Bowen Rd, Central.

It was full of laughter through out the 4 hours encounter. I could only recalled a few names, Sunny, Daniel, Jed, Justin, Lindsey (the only gal), Tobias, Phonix... I will get to know them better next Sunday.

Sunny has small eyes like me. He is a car lover. He is quiet yet very active.

Daniel has watery eyes and beautiful eye brows. His eyes could talk. When he looked at him, my heart just melt.

Lindsey is a shy girl. She knows people are paying attention to her even when her head down, reading her book quietly at the corner.

Tobias is a smart boy. A typical attention seeker. Whoever new came in, he ran across and give the person a big warm hug.

Justin knows very well what he wants and doesn't want. Very straight forward.

Jed is another quiet character. He sat there watching most of the time. I won't forget the smile on his face when I passed by him.

Knowing these new friends gives me new prospective to life.

Looking for my heartbeat...

At 1/1000 second, I heard my heartbeat since a long time...
And everything then returns to normal.

Simply my build-in suppressor was activiated unconsciously.

三過家門而不入

In the past, I always heard people saying that having business trip to here and there around the world, but haven't been to anywhere but airport, cab stands, hotel and office.

It was hard to believe til I experienced myself. Heart broken...

Nike ID Studio in Shanghai
Nike ID Studio in Beijing

And I hope I won't miss this - Nike ID Studio London

Gte Carrie away

Just came back from the Sex and the City movie. It is a gift to a SATC fan like me. What is better than sitting in front of the big screen, watching two and a half hours of prolonged episode after the finale four years ago with no commercial break at all?

Sitting at the theatre, resting my feet on the chair in lotus position, I enjoyed through out the movie. Seeing Carrie, Miranda, Samantha and Charlotte, I felt like meeting my old friends after years, longing to know what's going on with them. So touchy. Mom who was watching as well couldn't understand why Mong and I were tearing like hell thoughout.

I don't mind watching the movie again, just as I was repeating the TV episodes for lost count of times. And the wardrobe was just amazing.

Ritz Calton

Ritz Singapore is my favourite hotel.

I always enjoy appreciating its flower decorations everywhere. The Chihuly Lounge was where 5pf and I exchanged a lot of thoughts back in my Singapore days. The Sunday champagn brunch at Greenhouse was just one heavenly serving.

The rooms are just luxurious and pampering.

End of Grey's Season 4

and got to wait til fall for the next season.

My tears are not dried yet...

Response to Poles Apart

I think 5pf shares the same view about preparing a gift for your love ones is a bless. Especially when the receiver appreciated as what it is.

well, pre-birthday present is just a name. We both know, even we are poles apart... the heart and thought for each other just eliminate the physical distance. It's a two-way traffic.... takes two to clap...

It has been 3 years we were apart.

My Favourite Magazine

After being away from home for 5 years, I would never take it for granted to having a newstand around the corner where freshly published magazines are lying there like a buffet meal.

Each weekend, I am trying to squeeze some solo time, sitting there under the natural sunlight, reading my magazines over a freshly brewed coffee. On flight (flying C without boss) is also a very good time to absorb the essence of magazines.

Here is a list of my favourite magazines: -

Ming Pao Weekly - book B : 沒有八卦, 只有娛樂/玩樂。新知, 潮流, 奢華, 科技, 所有敗家的。
Milk : bible to keep myself young
iMoney : 精讀一週財經。順便貼堆心水。
HK Mag : 勝在免費, 有expat feel, 吃喝玩樂。响星加坡都會睇SG Mag.
Jet Magazine : 有明報book B嘅影子, 不過衰在太重。 最喜歡是有一陣子在機場有賣細版, HKD15.
City Magazine : 型人既標志。又貴又大本。仲記得細個响大表哥(Yuppies 代表) 個房見過。最近反而有趣睇「生活」, 中國版號外。

MUSE

She is not with me recently, therefore the entries are getting less and less frequent. The temporary departure of "her" might not be a bad thing.

She is the emotional, sentimental me.

Investment and reading

These are the themes of this weekend.

Investment - time for me to take up the responsibility to manage the "fund". It is going to be my part-time job.

Reading - mostly magazines.

No. 2477

發乎情 止乎禮

偶然總比刻意來得有意思。

在糢糊與清醒之間, 彷彿看見你從人群中冒出來。
心裹很希望這不是夢。

別離時那緊緊的擁抱, 已替代了千言萬語。

Prepare for retirement

I am working hard to grow my money.

他說...
你不要死, 你死了誰來陪我玩?

Law of Attraction

Agyness Deyn is my new favourite.

天各一方

我承認都是貪玩之過, 就這樣賠上了十年的友誼。
他認為心照不宣比較酷, 可惜我們未能達成共識。
可能發生的根本毫無原因, 沒有解釋。

最後, 我倆獨自對坐, 四目交投, 無言以對。

"但假如有一日 我地真係喺路上面偶然咁撞倒
我地會點下頭 問候一下 然後已經唔知講乜好"

"You have to kiss a lot of frogs, before you find a prince"

Quoted from 3M Corporate slogan.

琉璃屋裡孤獨的薔薇

淚水一串串在他臉上流着, 實在叫我心痛鼻酸。
我一邊伸手替他擦眼淚, 一邊告訴他不要緊。
一切都心照不宣。要說的最後還是說了。
道出的是超乎想像的孤寂。
無力地抱着他哭, 我恨我也只是個軟弱的女子。

哭過了, 生活還是要繼續。
再高的牆都爬過, 沒有什麼可怕。
我倆背後彷彿都長出了翅膀。

練到贏

This is the latest slogan of Nike's ad. I caught it when I was on the cab in Beijing city and it is motivating!

I am reminded, I was once an athlete as well... where have my sportmenship gone?

Once, the movie

So, if you want something
And you call, call
Then I'll come running
To fight, and I'll be at your door

"When your mind's made up"

Are you really here or am I dreaming
I can't tell dreams from truth
or it's been so long since I have seen you
I can hardly remember your face anymore

"If you want me"
:
:

What tweaked me was the helplessness and the imperfection in life. Lives become more complicated as we grow old. Lots of responsibilities are to be shouldered and things are not as straight forward. Desire is not necessarily be satisfied. It's a matter of worthiness...

The girl said "It sounds interesting, but it is just worthless"... Practicality kills the desire. I feel sad.

So we talk

at least we faced it together.

sunk

My heart sunk when I read "I just quit" on RM from uncle.

"QUIT" is definitely a big word to me.

Knowing it first hand from him, I appreciate the fact that he treated me a little bit than a passerby...

Heart to heart

I am so grateful to have a number of life time friends. Yes, although I am only at my 30's, I can already make a conclusion.

D, 5pf, sarah and lisa (last 2 marginally)...

At the end of the day, what defines life time friend is

- beyond words on mutual understanding
- no judgement

One thing I learnt lately (actually 5pf has been preaching in a subtle way). If you are not perfect, don't expect others to be. When you befriend with a person, accept who he/she is. Do not try to change him/her. He/She is a human being, not a Barbie doll.

With a perfect companion, it doesn't matter if the encounter is taken place in a 5 stars hotel with a perfect live band playing Norah Jones or just a 24 hours McD over a cup of coke and OJ... and no smoking at all....

Quarter end break

It is proaching the end of a 9 days holiday.

Lots of reflection throughout the past days and many to write about.

Biker

Good that I am distracted easily...

I've received a unexpected invitation. A pleasant surprise!

heartache to headache

The dynamic between us is hard to handle, as well as my emotion.

From now on, I just pretend nothing has happened. Hope time can wash everything away, including the pain in my heart.

Speechless

This is now a totally speechless situation.

I don't want to hurt him with my sharp words; don't want to manipulate him with my tactics; don't want to make him feel sorry by victimising myself.

Meanwhile, what I need is time. Time to distract myself and move on.

Takes two to clap

As if it was just a peck on the cheek, why should I take it so seriously?
It always takes 2 to clap. He made the move, I didn't resist.

What happened last night told me there is nothing to be sorry about.

As prophet 5pf said, if not it happened to you, it would be somebody else.

Recent favourite

太陽花

作詞：鄭國江　作曲：陳百強　編曲：趙文海

她的一張小粉臉 竟可使我意志堅
看見她使我再不敢隨便叫苦或怨天
她的一張小粉臉 照澈我心
叫我能共現實作戰
望著那地平線重獲信心　她感染
願帶著歡笑來為你寫詩一篇
想將新詩高歌一遍 將它標記這一天
歌聲快樂熱情為你添
願摘太陽花　來為你編織冠冕
用快樂歡笑　來做我新的起點
新的歌聲沙灘響遍 斜陽如醉
暖暖紅日就像你的臉

I cry

After 3 weeks, it finally hit me.

I thought I was going to keep it to myself forever, yet I chose to reveal to 5pf. She is the one who won't judge me no matter how ugly I got.

There were a lot of reflections afterwards, as if I was looking into a rear mirror. I bursted out tearing for the first time. I cried not because I regreted, but because I realised I have neglected such beautiful heart being next to me no matter where I was in the past years.

It striked me because I am going to lose my angel. He was striked by my words "end of an era".

I finally understand...

I took it for granted.

Just that I was too comfortable having him there for me always. He is there to hug me whenever I need a big one. He is just a phone call away whenever I found no answer to my question.

Who knows he is my guardian angel for a decade...

I hear myself.
I hear the reason. Only til now, the feeling gets to me.

Struggle

The thought ran through my mind over and over again these few days. It's a fight between my moral and desire.

No matter how fierce the fight is, it remains within.

Saturday brunch

Brunch at Cru with Hun on last Saturday. Then we decided to chill out at Hun's apartment. Stepping into his very own apartment, the peacefulness just reminded me about the days on my own. My desire of moving out attacks me.

We watched "Russian Dolls" over rose champagn and parma. Although both of us were dead tired from the previous night out, it was still a nice and easy afternoon.

3omething = grown up!?

We both knew the rule of game too well. Although the desire was burning, nobody moved. Both were waiting for the next unplanned encounter. It took less then 14 days to happen.

We walked one step closer to the edge together, yet we agreed that was not the right time to jump.

I am still speechless. The pain is beyond words.

Ramen solo

Talking about "solo".

I treasure some "alone" time occassionally. Without obligation going home for dinner tonight, I kept the evening for myself.

I researched for the ramen place I passed by all the time at Yau Ma Ti. Simply looking at the queue, I just do not bothered to convince anyone to go with me. After 50 mins wait, I finally sat down and enjoyed my ramen. Not bad.

I won't disapprove anybody's life style and I wish nobody would disapprove mine.

Best of both world

An engaged man was telling me how tough it is to face temptations around and there is a long way to go after getting married. And said what if... he is single.

For thirty minutes, he "lectured" me for not being able to open up to meet my Mr. Right and I will end up being alone forever, i.e. single.

Spoke to a girl friend over the phone, asking about her married life. She complaint about her newly wedded husband hung out every single Friday with friends until 4am, 5am and left her alone at home.

She asked me if I am seeing anyone special. She said, I shouldn't be having flings around and should settle down. I can't help but response by saying "at least, I am the one hanging out til 4am on Fridays".

Can I be single, but not single? Can I be married, but not married?

Flu

This is a brand new idea told by a single man. My Mr. Island, Hun.

He said, having a fling is just like having a flu. You know it takes time to recover and it will be gone soon. Everything will be back to normal then.

I like this idea.

p.s. Hun complimented my blog entry. He said the words are beautifully put together.

I wanted to talk.
But I can't think of anything to say.
I can't find no reason to do so.

So I remain silence until we are both ready.

走鋼線

想也沒有想過,
從哪來的勇氣,
讓那藏了很久的心意向彼此表達了.

我猜, 也再不必多言.

很難 張震嶽

有一天的一個晴天　陽光映在這張舊沙發
躺下來閉上眼　渾然不知寂寞正在蔓延
昨天的激情　今天的空寂
還有一張慘白的臉　慢慢改變
一杯水和一支香煙　混合安靜孤獨的氣味
是真情是謊言　星期天的早晨別太絕對
瘋狂的世界陌生的鞋　鎖在門之外
有時候　想把自己關起來　
還是　學著把心門打開
人與人之間的關係變得不理不睬　
習慣無關緊要的冷淡
有時候　莫名其妙哭起來　難道這就是自怨自哀
誰不希望像飛鳥一樣自由自在　誰不希望啊　誰不希望　只是很難

There is another secret to be kept.

Now I am sober.
But I guess I wasn't drunk.

Flattered...

I am loved by so many friends whom I met along the journey...

5pfx2, lisax3, sarahx2, steph, margaret, brandon, daniel darling, YT, jason, hun, ivan, dan, sherry, conny, fuigo...

I kept my eyes open to enjoy every moment being pampered by all of you...

Happy

You're a part time lover and a full time friend
The monkey on you're back is the latest trend
I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you

Here is the church and here is the steeple
We sure are cute for two ugly people
I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you

We both have shiny happy fits of rage
I want more fans, you want more stage
I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you

You are always trying to keep it real
I'm in love with how you feel
I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you

I kiss you on the brain in the shadow of a train
I kiss you all starry eyed, my body's swinging from side to side
I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you

The pebbles forgive me, the trees forgive me
So why can't, you forgive me?I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you

Du du du du du du duduDu du du du du du dudu
I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you

Lyric of "Anyone Else but You" O.S.T. from Juno

hollow

Dinner tonight was just hollow. It didn't feel good at all.

Thank god I brought my buffer. At least I have someone to fall on anytime. Too much fake smile these day. Tonight, I have put a big one on to cover my disappointment.

To me: It is about time to take a step back and cool myself off a bit, from people I have once thought I could rely on. Take a deep breathe, stand up and move on.

Black

Black is the colour.

I wish I were alone in my very own space and sink. Sink to the bottom.

It was depressing and helpless. If possible, I would get someone to cut open my head and disconnect the nerve that dominate my emotion. Then, may be I would be happier.

The journey from office to home felt longer than normal.

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

I am happy to start using my aquamobile.

On the other hand, I have spent hours to search for a free software which can help to manage sms in my HTC touch, despite my upcoming exam is burning.

On the cab on my way home, I was reminded Hun once told me back in my college year, when everyone was still holding on to a beeper. All the "saved" messages should have been saved here (pointing to his heart), not in the beeper. He told me this when I was whining about all precious messages were gone after my beeper ran out of battery.

Does it really matter if the digital messages are erased along with the old phone? Should I rely on a digital device to safe keep my memories? Or should it be following me? Or it is already following me but I am not aware? May be if I am able to let go of those I ought to let go, then I have the capacity for something new to be saved?

I have once said how much I wish my brain works like any of the digital device that after a hard reboot everything could be erased without a trace. Shouldn't I be happy to let go of those I was not able to let go? Am I stuck in a sugar coated water drop too much that I have missed out a lot of beautiful things happening around me?

selfish kids

We are doing it the way we each want. Going the pace we are each comfortable with. I sms a plain statement just because I wanted to. He didn't response right away, cos' he didn't see the need. Or he didn't care. He responsed in a teasing tone when he found the chance.

No, he didn't miss it. It didn't slip his mind. It is just at a lower priority.

Open up

Embracing my 31st birthday, I am prepared for series of celebration starting this Saturday. Afterall, this is the first birthday in Hong Kong after 5 years being away from home.

I was telling Hun about this : I think I have done what ought to be done. If I see no response, there is no point to keep pushing. I refuse to make myself an annoyance to my counterpart, especially when he is someone I like.

Hun said he has a different approach. If he was in my shoe, he would keep pursuing until the counterpart tells him to stop. Yet he respected my view as it is advance thinking.

Hun being another Piscean, could be same same but different from me. Yet to tell his story about Valentines day flowers.

Remark: at this point, I am done with my meditation. I see myself in good progress recovering from last night.

Post long night out syndrome

Sitting myself up with a heavy head, I can't stop my brain replaying the songs I heard last night.

This morning, I kept reminding myself about the "zero expectation"rule. Take a deep breathe, eat an orange, drink more water and move on with better things to do over the weekend.

14th February

Seeing the delivery boys and girls with bouquets of very nicely arranged roses on hand and calling the recipients at the lift lobby, I always fantasize one of them was calling for me.

Yet to me, sincerity is more than everything. Whether it is a bouquet of red roses, pink roses, or at lower budget a bunch of sunflowers, doesn't matter.

Afterall, heart matters. What's better than 2 hand delievered egg tarts by the boy I adore on the Valentines day? Especially he looked into my eyes when he handed the 2 egg tarts to me... Heavenly...

Gary and Boris

Recently, I found that Gary and Boris were seperated and became "Gary Kwok" and "Boris and Matthew". I knew about Gary & Boris as they were arrangement behind the brand Armani Fiori. Not sure about now.

I still have a dream to take a long break from my current job and be a part-time helper at either one of the florists. I know to pursue this I had to give up more than my nicely done manicure. I know, 5pf.

New Layout

This is the 3rd year since the blog published.

Here is a brand new layout to kick off the year of rat. The above picture was taken in Fontainebleu in 2006. Is it a dream or a reality? Only I have the answer.

粗口人

最近, 我的朋友常常在我(們)面前爆粗.
最初我還不以為意,但朋友又爆粗又狂叫,我始發覺有點奇怪.
對於心理學非常感興趣的我開始思考他的行為及其動機.

結論是, 他已經當了我們是熟朋友/兄弟了.
是好事嗎?

Random Thoughts - Chinese New Year

The CNY holiday is always easier to handle than Christmas. Even if I folded myself at home for all four days of holiday, there is no bad feeling at all. New year holiday is meant to be bored and doing nothing.

Giving parents red packets has became a practice since last year. Well, once the expectation is built, there is no way of return.

Time for planning this year's investment. I am not greedy. Just expecting an annual return of 10 - 15%.

Should start studying for my paper 1 exam ASAP. Can't fail. It's a face issue. But I can feel the laziness...

Dignity

A single 30 (going on 31) woman could be sensitive.

Apology

Today, someone can't wait to apologise to me on behalf of someone. Really can't wait. First of all, I wasn't offended. Secondly, I felt a bit awkward to hear such polite tone. I was quite surprise about the apology.

I wonder about the intension. 1) He worried about me being offended. 2) He worried about her upsetting me. 3) He was standing up for me. 4) He was standing up for her.

Well, afterall, with good intension, he cares about our relationship. I guess we all treasure our bonding at our little HH moments...

HH

HH has became a weekly event for the three of us since the beginning 08. Sitting next to him, I just wish the clock could tick slowly. Blew water for an hour or so, then we all headed home and rest. Get prepared for tomorrow's battle.

Fish can't live without water

and I cannot live without love

Well, I am still living today because I have the talent to romanticize anything.
A random walk closer by
A silent look at me from the other side of the glass
A causal comment on food I ate
A loud voice at the background over the phone shouting directions
A request for consensus on ordering a cheese platter to share

Every tiny thing happens in life could be romantic. And that's how I am supporting my life all these years

Addiction

Addiction is used to describe a recurring compulsion by an individual to engage in some specific activity, despite harmful consequences to the individual's health, mental state or social life.

Recorded at 23:00 tonight, a compulsion of asking him out. I tied my hands from communicating with him through all means. By 00:00, I passed.

Beijing Grand Hyatt

Felt like a VIP.

Of course, I have sounded my "old friend" out before checking in. To my surprised, Mr. J appeared when I checked in at the front desk. He was so nice to help bring my luggage and escorted me to the room. We chatted a bit.

As usual, I asked my fellow to dine with me at the hotel restaurant. He came by and greeted us. My fellows smiled and a nodded afterwards. :)

After dinner, I caught him for a drink at the bar. Just a nice brief chat. The whole encounter was just nice.

p.s. the fourth deal done in the first 24 days of 2008. May I ask for some luck in my love life too?

As we walk...

We were talking on the way as we walked across Causeway Bay.

My Favourite Things

I like the melody of the song...

"When the dog bites, when the bee stings, when I'm feeling sad, I simply remember my favorite things, and then I don't... feel so bad."

Why push ourselves so hard? Can't we leave ourselves some space to daydream and to think of our favourite thing and person? Can't we just take off our shoes and feel the grass? Or even take a nap on the great lawn bare feet. Why leashed by the vibrating devices (to be clear, I mean mobile and blackberry)? Sorry, that's what you are paid for.

and so, here we go

I don't know it was really a confusion or a planned one. Anyways, he acted a bit abnormal or if it was a test. Yet, I was always told men are not that sophisticated.

Urging me to be available earlier than 10pm, he only appeared after me wondering alone in Causeway Bay for half an hour and sat at the bar for almost another half. And yet, he told me he thought it was my call for the drink. Well, I was invited by him to be exact.

Should I be pissed? I was thinking to myself. Even being a friend, I have all the right to be pissed with someone who had me to wait for an hour there alone. So upon his arrival, I was upfront to him that I needed fifteen minutes silence to cool myself off. And I found myself improved. At least I was expressing my true feeling.

A remark by 5pf dd 21st Jan: act confirmed to be the most graceful amongst all alternatives.

He stepped into the elevator. Here we go, wish came true. With a subtle nod, we acknowledged the presence of each other and that's it. I started to wonder about my blog entry the day before.

Third one closed today

This is only 16th.

Hope my luck would never run out.

Only one wish for the rest of the week, that is to see him for once tomorrow.

Delightful

Part of Speech: adjective
Definition: pleasant
Synonyms:
adorable, agreeable, alluring, ambrosial, amusing, attractive, beautiful, captivating, charming, cheery, clever, congenial, darling, delectable, delicious, enchanting, engaging, enjoyable, entertaining, fair, fascinating, gratifying, heavenly, ineffable, lovely, luscious, lush, pleasing, pleasurable, rapturous, ravishing, refreshing, satisfying, scrumptious, thrilling
Antonyms:
depressing, disappointing, horrible, miserable, unhappy, unpleasant

Now, it comes to my favourite part of the year, Chinese New Year, Bonus time, Birthday. Everything is so refreshing and encouraging!!!

These days, I could hear from him almost everyday. The content might not be exactly what I want to hear from him, yet the form is over the content. No more miserable, instead, I am amused.

Learnt something from a new found friend

That is to leave some space for the person I fond of.

One lunch, one dinner and one afternoontea in 4 days. What else should I ask for?

2008 繼續

今年第二宗生意今天做成了! 總算對我老闆有點交代.

原來我的部落格真的有人讀的. 台北喬伊斯媽媽很貼心地打電話來問候一番. 感動吶!!! 後來變我安慰她...

昨天是新年後第一次碰到他, 面對面談了一陣子. 今天又收到他的來電. 這樣便十分滿足.

2008 一將會是美好的一年嗎?

continue to keep slience

Don't know why, I just enjoyed being in the air of his presence. A few times I was caught peeping at him when the third person was talking.

A couple of others complimented my look today. I smiled and reply with blah blah blah. He was the reason for me dressing up. Besides I felt more confident this way.

2008

It has only been 9th days. I am stressed out from work. The first deal of the year was done yesterday. Although the profit is not a mega one, it is a good start. Having some result pushes me to work harder in the coming future.

I cracked down tearing in front of my understanding boss this evening. I know I am starting to raise my own bar.

Take a deep breathe.

Provocachic (sm) by Damian Sim

Inspired by the art form that challenged perceptions – Impressionism, a style that capture the essence of transient moments in unconventional compositions. Quote from http://www.gildedfork.com/provocachic/

從 印象派 藝術的靈感, 誘發出一種捕捉瞬變的跨傳統風格.
从 印象派 艺术的灵感, 诱发出一种捕捉瞬变的跨传统风格.

5pf, time to learn some Chinese. 華語, cool!!!

元氣

沉悶的十二月終於結束. 最怕就是那種過節的責任. 明明不覺得有什麼值得慶祝, 但要勉强慶一慶, 好勁老土.



台北
幾乎結束了一段友誼, 因為她的說話有点太刻簿了.
兩個陌生女孩教了我一件很重要的事, 就是處女男都是犯賤的. 最好就是不要理他.

星加坡
穿着短褲, 人字袘, 走來走去.
忙着見我喜歡的人. 把虛偽通通都留在台北.

香港
很多工作等着我呢!

接着將會是北京...

Sugar coated waterdrop

我們忙着同一件事.
他坐在我對面, 一板一眼的說着.
托着腮, 我很留心的聽.

偶而, 他有千份之一秒的猶疑. 到底前面這個人是真的在聽, 還是已夢遊去了.

深呼吸。。。

就當他是那些大學時代的偶像師兄吧! 在校園偶已碰到便高興一整天的那些. 試想想, 他就是我的倒影. 不喜歡喜歡自己的人, 卻偏偏喜歡不喜歡自己的人。

就只有時間可以讓感覺沖淡。

我想告訴你我上星期去過的那間live band 酒吧, 因為我想你也會喜歡。
我想問你是不是最近常去健身房, 因為我看到你手臂上的老鼠仔好像變大了。
我想告訴你我會去完台北再去新加坡, 要一月七号才回來。放假時我可能會想念你。
我想問你聖誕做什麽? 只是好奇而已。

星座

這是第一次聽到雙魚和處女是相配的.

畫一個圓圈，將圓分成十二等分，並順序填上十二星座，離自己星座的第七個星座，他的性格與你相對，但個性不同可互補，一起生活也會樂融融。

1. 雙魚座
2. 白羊座
3. 金牛座
4. 雙子座
5. 巨蟹座
6. 獅子座
7. 處女座

沈默

靜靜的聽着他唱歌。靜靜的陶醉着。
我不要別人知道, 不要他知道。
可能保持這空間距離讓人和事都美麗些。

不奢求擁有, 因為自問沒有這本事。

No more Genis Record

I thought I am going to become the Genis Record Holder. Holding the record of non stop chewing the bubble gum for a decade. But today, I annouce I give up chewing the piece of tasteless plastic. The idea of creating the record is stupid enough.



The gum was sweet and fun to chew at the beginning. After some time, I realise I kept chewing the tasteless piece for the sake of challenging the record. I'd like to prove myself right that I could do it a decade or longer.



A phone call just woke me from the meaningless challenge. I annouce that I am spitting the plastic out and walk away without any record.

Call from a stranger

I don't know if it was my bad luck day.

This person shouldn't have called me yet we have talked for almost an hour. She might be calling from the outer space.

She is a stranger to me, yet we shared same experience on the same person. I kept asking her what did she want from me. She said "I just want to know more about him from you." I was very cautious about my words even though the old memories were flooding from deep inside. I could not imagine the consequences if I got too emotional in my answer or if I just hung up on her.

While talking to her, I saw myself. I saw a loser. I am glad that I was standing as an outsider hearing a sad story which I was once in. All I could say is what 5pf used to said to me "you deserve better"

Up to here, 5pf, you must be shaking your head and rolling your eyes. Yes, it is unbelievable, but it happened.

Ran into him while I was on mobile. He greeted me with a smile and walked aside.

The feeling was strange. I do not have any incentive to talk to him. Lost interest, may be. Or I know, I am not going to get back what I expected. If so, why bother.

Do I care?

I finally picked up the phone from Mr. C after the Nth time calling. I can still recall he questioned me why was I not returning his messages and not picking his phone calls.

Before our conversation, I bet he must be holding on to his mobile all day. Tried to call himself and made sure the phone was connected. Checked his sent box to make sure the message was delivered properly. Double and triple check if the device was working well.

It was totally alright that I did not know about all these little emtional roller coaster rides he had gone through. Because I was not told and even if I was, I don't care. I would say he asked for it.

If I meant to meet him in the upcoming party this Christmas, I would feel uneasy. Especially when he brought his better half who looked perfectly together with him. The glow on his face would make me think twice if it was my loss.

Of course, if it really happened, I would stay calm on the face. No one would even noticed about the uneasy feeling.

Have you ever thought of...

without you knowing, someone on earth has been spending ample amount of time to think of you, to analyse your behavior and reaction, to remember what you have said, to talk to friends about you and christmas shopping for you.

Even after years, that someone worries about how to behave when sitting diagonal to you and your current partner at the upcoming party.

Do you care?

Taste of Freedom

Parents took off to Singapore. Mammy will be away for a week. Ming and I are free.

We went to a nice brunch, did our nails and had a hair cut. Then went for a drink with Lisa at Armani Bar before heading home.

The good thing about no "parental guidiance" is that we can be spontaneous.

That's why life is interesting. Yesterday, Dan and I had no idea where to eat. We just kept walking. He convinced me to start telling my little one sided story along the way.

Not bothered to think twice, we were sucked into Tsui Wah. Sitting side by side, we ordered and kept talking. Believe it or not, the subject of my talk happened to appear in front of us.

Well, all I want to say is "this is fate".

Love/ Addition

Meredith: In the hospital, we see addiction every day. It’s shocking how many kinds of addiction exist. It would be too easy if it were just drugs and booze and cigarettes. I think the hardest part of kicking a habit is wanting to kick it. I mean, we get addicted for a reason, right? Often, too often, things that start out as just a normal part of your life at some point cross the line to obsessive, compulsive, out of control. It’s the high we’re chasing, the high that makes everything else fade away.

Still, they say you don’t kick the habit until you hit rock bottom, but how do you know when you’re there? Because no matter how badly a thing is hurting us, sometimes letting it go hurts even worse.

Kaleidoscope

Today, I heard a quite creative comment about me -"your mind is like a Kaleidoscope". I took it as a compliment.

Well, too bad he doesn't see this way, or I just do not know.

Killing me softly

At Last... heavenly

Without connection

Wasn't able to connect to internet in the past few days. Bad!

So we met yesterday. Between conscious and unconscious, I avoided any personal talk. I just don't feel there is a need to cross the line. I left the encounter a lot lighter.

Afterwards, I had a total different prospective. It was him who forced me to head this direction.

No big deal

But I am bothered. I surely didn't think too much. Just that his behavior is abnormal. Take a deep deep breathe and move on.

Is that what I want?

"There must be a reason behind everything." That's how we keep our hopes up even when things do not happen in the way we want. May be the reason is as simple as he is not interested.

Here, I annouce the end of an epidsode.

No tears, no hard feelings. Just that we didn't meet at the right space and right timing.

"Better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all." - Saint Augustine