Sugar coated waterdrop

我們忙着同一件事.
他坐在我對面, 一板一眼的說着.
托着腮, 我很留心的聽.

偶而, 他有千份之一秒的猶疑. 到底前面這個人是真的在聽, 還是已夢遊去了.

深呼吸。。。

就當他是那些大學時代的偶像師兄吧! 在校園偶已碰到便高興一整天的那些. 試想想, 他就是我的倒影. 不喜歡喜歡自己的人, 卻偏偏喜歡不喜歡自己的人。

就只有時間可以讓感覺沖淡。

我想告訴你我上星期去過的那間live band 酒吧, 因為我想你也會喜歡。
我想問你是不是最近常去健身房, 因為我看到你手臂上的老鼠仔好像變大了。
我想告訴你我會去完台北再去新加坡, 要一月七号才回來。放假時我可能會想念你。
我想問你聖誕做什麽? 只是好奇而已。

星座

這是第一次聽到雙魚和處女是相配的.

畫一個圓圈，將圓分成十二等分，並順序填上十二星座，離自己星座的第七個星座，他的性格與你相對，但個性不同可互補，一起生活也會樂融融。

1. 雙魚座
2. 白羊座
3. 金牛座
4. 雙子座
5. 巨蟹座
6. 獅子座
7. 處女座

沈默

靜靜的聽着他唱歌。靜靜的陶醉着。
我不要別人知道, 不要他知道。
可能保持這空間距離讓人和事都美麗些。

不奢求擁有, 因為自問沒有這本事。

No more Genis Record

I thought I am going to become the Genis Record Holder. Holding the record of non stop chewing the bubble gum for a decade. But today, I annouce I give up chewing the piece of tasteless plastic. The idea of creating the record is stupid enough.



The gum was sweet and fun to chew at the beginning. After some time, I realise I kept chewing the tasteless piece for the sake of challenging the record. I'd like to prove myself right that I could do it a decade or longer.



A phone call just woke me from the meaningless challenge. I annouce that I am spitting the plastic out and walk away without any record.

Call from a stranger

I don't know if it was my bad luck day.

This person shouldn't have called me yet we have talked for almost an hour. She might be calling from the outer space.

She is a stranger to me, yet we shared same experience on the same person. I kept asking her what did she want from me. She said "I just want to know more about him from you." I was very cautious about my words even though the old memories were flooding from deep inside. I could not imagine the consequences if I got too emotional in my answer or if I just hung up on her.

While talking to her, I saw myself. I saw a loser. I am glad that I was standing as an outsider hearing a sad story which I was once in. All I could say is what 5pf used to said to me "you deserve better"

Up to here, 5pf, you must be shaking your head and rolling your eyes. Yes, it is unbelievable, but it happened.

Ran into him while I was on mobile. He greeted me with a smile and walked aside.

The feeling was strange. I do not have any incentive to talk to him. Lost interest, may be. Or I know, I am not going to get back what I expected. If so, why bother.

Do I care?

I finally picked up the phone from Mr. C after the Nth time calling. I can still recall he questioned me why was I not returning his messages and not picking his phone calls.

Before our conversation, I bet he must be holding on to his mobile all day. Tried to call himself and made sure the phone was connected. Checked his sent box to make sure the message was delivered properly. Double and triple check if the device was working well.

It was totally alright that I did not know about all these little emtional roller coaster rides he had gone through. Because I was not told and even if I was, I don't care. I would say he asked for it.

If I meant to meet him in the upcoming party this Christmas, I would feel uneasy. Especially when he brought his better half who looked perfectly together with him. The glow on his face would make me think twice if it was my loss.

Of course, if it really happened, I would stay calm on the face. No one would even noticed about the uneasy feeling.

Have you ever thought of...

without you knowing, someone on earth has been spending ample amount of time to think of you, to analyse your behavior and reaction, to remember what you have said, to talk to friends about you and christmas shopping for you.

Even after years, that someone worries about how to behave when sitting diagonal to you and your current partner at the upcoming party.

Do you care?

Taste of Freedom

Parents took off to Singapore. Mammy will be away for a week. Ming and I are free.

We went to a nice brunch, did our nails and had a hair cut. Then went for a drink with Lisa at Armani Bar before heading home.

The good thing about no "parental guidiance" is that we can be spontaneous.

That's why life is interesting. Yesterday, Dan and I had no idea where to eat. We just kept walking. He convinced me to start telling my little one sided story along the way.

Not bothered to think twice, we were sucked into Tsui Wah. Sitting side by side, we ordered and kept talking. Believe it or not, the subject of my talk happened to appear in front of us.

Well, all I want to say is "this is fate".

Love/ Addition

Meredith: In the hospital, we see addiction every day. It’s shocking how many kinds of addiction exist. It would be too easy if it were just drugs and booze and cigarettes. I think the hardest part of kicking a habit is wanting to kick it. I mean, we get addicted for a reason, right? Often, too often, things that start out as just a normal part of your life at some point cross the line to obsessive, compulsive, out of control. It’s the high we’re chasing, the high that makes everything else fade away.

Still, they say you don’t kick the habit until you hit rock bottom, but how do you know when you’re there? Because no matter how badly a thing is hurting us, sometimes letting it go hurts even worse.

Kaleidoscope

Today, I heard a quite creative comment about me -"your mind is like a Kaleidoscope". I took it as a compliment.

Well, too bad he doesn't see this way, or I just do not know.

Killing me softly

At Last... heavenly

Without connection

Wasn't able to connect to internet in the past few days. Bad!

So we met yesterday. Between conscious and unconscious, I avoided any personal talk. I just don't feel there is a need to cross the line. I left the encounter a lot lighter.

Afterwards, I had a total different prospective. It was him who forced me to head this direction.

No big deal

But I am bothered. I surely didn't think too much. Just that his behavior is abnormal. Take a deep deep breathe and move on.

Is that what I want?

"There must be a reason behind everything." That's how we keep our hopes up even when things do not happen in the way we want. May be the reason is as simple as he is not interested.

Here, I annouce the end of an epidsode.

No tears, no hard feelings. Just that we didn't meet at the right space and right timing.

"Better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all." - Saint Augustine

I cannot handle it anymore

Take a deep breathe and go with my heart.

Distance

About 30 feet apart, the invisible distance is infinite.

I was always told, no one can read my mind if I stay slient, yet my slience could be very loud too. So, I am trying to strike a balance; At the same time, I am fighting against expectation and fear.

I thought, if I care about someone, why hesitate. Let him ignore me if he meant to. Or, someone who is good at talking may not be good at expressing. May be he appreciates in silence.

First deal closed

I have proven to people that I can make it.
From zero to something, I could feel the level of adrenaline going up.

The sad thing is I could share this with no one.

Singing in the raining

I am in my yellow rain coat, yellow rain boots, under a black umbrella waiting for the rain to stop. I am sitting on the bench patiently waiting for the rain to stop. It just keeps raining (not pouring). From the day before yesterday, yesterday, til present.

I sing when I feel bored, just occassionally.

Sometimes, I play with the water puddle in front of me alone. Sometimes, I sit back to the bench. Waiting for the rain to stop.

Or until one day, I am released from the forever raining crystal ball and return to the sunny land. At least, there is hope for seeing a rainbow out there.

What is going on in the girl's mind?

I was very conscious whenever he walked near. A little voice in my head saying "be yourself!!!".
I noticed a hand was on my shoulder for a short while. A friendly gesture!? I wondered.
There were times that we were looking at each other with no words.

I don't know how much longer I can / have to wait.

The next thing that I am looking forward to is 14th Dec.

Turkey dinner

I must say, it was an enjoyable evening.

Thanks to the one who organised it.

my blog

i am getting suspicious and curious...

ummm.... someone knows about my blog...
I have heard twice from irrelevant ppl mentioning.. put this and that in your blog...

i want to keep this low profile...

dear blogger, just keep this blog to yourself. this is extremely exclusive.

the Rainbow and Cloud series - about the tunnel accident

So i waited for the reply for 2 days... hanging on the invisible partition in front of D & 5pf.

on the 3rd, i have got an apology for the late reply and tonnes of questions about the accident.
on the 4th, the questioning continued... he was so angry and stood up for me...

Rainbow and Cloud

D said, your silence could be very "loud". I knew subconsciously.

It was fear which stopped me from moving forward. I am afraid to be let down, so I rather certify it myself before anything bad happens.

After hours of talks with 5pf and D, I open my heart and learn to be patient.

Be my guest

They are my long waited guests. Last Friday, I have picked 5pf and D from Kowloon station and kicked off our Hong Kong 6 days 5 nights.

I was the tour guide to the 2 guests (with assistant guide Carmen). Telling all the stories about HK and Macau. Trying hard to figure out to turn left or to turn right., to identify which bus to take going to TST.

5pf has reminded me quite a few important things during the visit. I have digested them all.

Day One :

Sunset drink at Aqua. 29th floor of No. 1 Beijing Road;

Dinner at Pressroom, Hollwood Road

Dessert at Sift, Soho

Drink at Fong, LKF Central

Day Two:

Macau

Day Four:

Lunch at Yung Kee, Central

Walk along midlevel

Tea at Pressroom

Walk down hill, Central

Dinner at home

Desert from Kowloon City

Day Five:

Claypot rice at Causeway Bay

Drink at Felix, Pennisular

A tiny reconnection today.

Jason said, he is just a transitional guy.
Kay said, 26th Feb, you are a loner.

I always said, he is a loner... or in fact, the loner is me!?

Cold War

It seems like both of us are frozen.

I think I have made enough moves, I stop and wait for his turn.
He doesn't move so as to avoid sending wrong signal.

Clock ticks and time passes by. Everyone is busy with their life, including us two. Just that our paves never cross in the past... five days.

Quote on Pain - from Grey's Anatomy

Maybe we like the pain. Maybe we’re wired that way. Because without it, I don’t know; maybe we just wouldn’t feel real. What’s that saying? Why do I keep hitting myself with a hammer? Because it feels so good when I stop.~ Meredith

Under the Water

I could only hear my breathing, but nothing else.

Slience...

Take a deep breathe

Tomorrow is a brand new day. I am in good condition to hold my head up and be the best me. Love myself before expecting someone to love me. There are too many variables that are out of my control. So, just take care of those I have a say on.

No one knows how it is gonna turned out to be. Good or bad!? Well, no matter what, I will still treat him as well. As 5pf said, when you love someone, it is not neccessary to possess him.

I felt helpless as I have got to move on and wait for the appearence of the next one.

Giving up...

It is hard to continue. I have done all I can. I guess the problem is with me. Either I am after the wrong person again, or the way I behave was just not right. All these heart sucking feelings are familiar to me.

I have no patience for this long battle. Or, there isn't any battle. It is simply not working.

I had a nightmare last night. I dreamt of me getting married with the nerd whom I hated from university.

呼吸

適心安排了一場獨腳戲。 我要一個人在戲院喊個痛快。

金基德導, 張震演的呼吸。

主動跟被動, 動與靜，愛與被愛。 思念, 等待, 冀盼。我不停地喊, 是發洩, 是情感的投射。看完出來, 感覺輕了一點。

An unplanned encounter

I am a dreamer and I believe in signs...

The co-incident was a sign. At that very second, we were passing each other in the same space. Our eyes met and a subtle exchange of smile.

That very second was so beautiful as it was unplanned and just happened.

Soup sense

Although, I said I am going to stay low key. I made a move today, still.

This evening, with 5pf's encouragement, I bought him some soup from "Soup Sense" at PP. Hope it helped to comfort the sick person a little bit. I think this is what I wanted to do and was glad I did it. Not much conversation between us over the soup, but I guess it was well received.

Just a "thank you, sweetie" worth ten times more the walk to get the soup... (5pf, please roll your eyes as many times as you can)

Remain low key

That's what I told myself before bed last night.

Well, I was not able to stop myself from ask how he is after knowing that he seemed to fall sick again today... remembering how poor thing he was when telling me how sick he was last thursday and friday...

In return, I received a butch of bull shit. Dan said "maybe he doesn't want you to be nice to him?" Ummm... may be that's right.

So, I am going to be quiet... for at least the next five days... I will try... and let's see what will happen.

Reading between the line...

Although I didn't react to the Times Sq bicycle story, I heard him. I appreciate from the bottom of my heart.

May be I am just one of the many. At least, I am one of the many.

Saved by 5pf

I was confused. Deadly confused.

Tasting between sweet and shit... sweet and shit, again... another round sweet and shit... lucky that the day ended with sweet...

Seems flirting, but not flirting... simply confused.

Knew that he seemed like falling sick soon, I passed him some Redoxon Vitamin C and asked him to drink. I am not sure how a guy would feel about that. Well, that's me and I hope it is expressive enough yet subtle... (self contradicting, I know).

5pf, thanks for reviewing what happened the past 2 days and hope you enjoy the roller coaster rides between "like him" and "don't like him"... I promise, I will find the best timing and try to accomplish the mission impossible. Your laughter just help to clear my confusion away...

Today

This entry contains 2 parts.

a.m.
He appeared in front of me unexpectedly.
To me, he looked like a cute rabbit.

p.m.
Met him again. It was just one disappointing encounter. I was bothered and needed to express it here. 5pf, I am now hesitate to even ask him to meet you. My heart is burning hot and beating very fast. I am not angry, just bothered.

A pleasant surprise

I was sick and felt very bad. So down that I didn't talk to anyone, walked out of the office and got my lunchbox alone.

While opening my lunchbox depressed, at the corner of my eyes, I saw a brown envelope in my so called "intray". Wait, I grabbed the envelope, it was soft inside.

Judging from the crossed addresses of the recycled envelope, I somehow could guess who's the sender.

Surprise... with no medicine, I was waken from my flu. I smiled.

Feeling lousy

Just don't want to talk to anybody at all...
My head is very heavy.

I need some sleep.

Black and White

Don't be bothered who the hell is in the picture. At the moment, he is of no importance. I post this picture because I want to.

He said : See ya whn I m bk.

Keep warm...

Thanks to Dan's enlightenment, I understand guys need some assurance too... especially for those 30mething...

I messaged him last night before bed. Asked how he was doing and told him briefly that I was surviving work.

Since I work up this morning, I have been awaiting for his feedback... and I heard from him at around 9:30am... Of course, he just made my day. He gave me some update and told me it was freezing cold out there.

... My heart sunk a bit... when I heard that he was freezing with a windbreaker..., yet it was heart warming to hear from him...... I hope the momentum could go on... can't wait to see him back...

Sharing the same thought!?

I am bound to sit in front of my work station at lunch, awaiting to join the team meeting. Well, instead of continue looking at my work emails, I was done with facebook, little Chris' photobook, fuigo's blog, reservation for chocolate brunch with 5pf on 18th Nov. So, I sat there and daydream.

The idea just came to my mind : are we just simply having the same thought last night? The answer would never be known.

The buzz this morning might give some hints.

Long weekend in HK

It's approaching the end of my long weekend. I wish the holiday can go on.

I couldn't help dropping him a quick note over yahoo last night. Then I logged off so as to avoid anxiety. Today, he did response. Although we didn't get to chat, I guess, he should get my subtle message that "I was thinking of him".

Thursday afternoon, 1:37pm

Heard from him again today. A short update on how he's doing and if he's alive or dead.

I can't help but wonder... is it a positive sign when a loner keeps me updated on his moves? To me, No gift is better than this.

Here is a love quote

"If you love something, set it free; if it comes back it's yours, if it doesn't, it never was."

I think this is what 5pf was trying to tell me. Finally, I understand as I am able to set free. The door is opened. As wished, he did walk by and chat briefly. That's just delightful!

I hope he felt the same.

Nanjing and Guangzhou

The trip was simply exciting. Being with my boss on the road for 2 nights, 3 days, we have a lot of quality time for heart to heart talk. She is my savior and my mentor.

The client experiences in China were amazing.

I am dying to get this deal closed. This is going to be a mile stone in my career!

After being away for 3 days, it was delightful to hear from him. Although it was just a quick chat. All I want is to let him know that I am back and that's all.

All night long...

Yeah, I have violated "the rules". Instead of 3 days noticed in advance, I said yes to an invitation 2 hours beforehand. Well, it has been a long waited invitation.


This is the nth time, i quoted this "Nearly all the best things that came to me in life have been unexpected, unplanned by me."

Just treasure and be happy with the 4 hours one on one encouter. And no need to look for more. It will come when it ought to come.

Pulling the string-

In the past weeks, I felt like being tided on a string which end is on his hand.

Whenever I was about to untied myself, he pulled me closer. Closer and closer, until one point, he released.

One second is forever -

The unexpected encounter today. The scene was just beautiful. My romantic movie scene looks like this, their eyes met, the focus is on the two of them, the rest of the setting and people became blur. The scene is turning 180 degree from the girl's point of view to the guy's (the Matrix way of turning). The moment just frozen for that one second.

Screaming

Again super stressed from work....

Ups and Downs

First of all, super stressful at work. And that's it about work.

Well, everything went fine last night. Like Steph and 5pf always suggested, be myself. I did and i think it was well received.

Today... I have picked up a different identity. Everything became upside down.

I felt really bad when seeing his face today.

the next key decision...

Hey, I realised I have already made quite some significant decisions for myself in the course 30 years. Switching from Chinese University to UST, applying for Boston exchange, asking for a relocation to Singapore, moving to Taipei, asking to move back to HK... all these decisions shaped the me today. Cool, isn't it?

Me, standing as an individual, once again made a decision today. It is not as major as relocation, but this is the first time I gave up my personal arrangement for my work.

I have committed my Taiwanese sister to attend her wedding. I have arranged my facial with Bee and nail with Wei Li. I have arranged to meet up with Little S, Kobe, Steph, Ah Chai, Sunny, Ron and my beloved colleagues... oh, and jessie and eugene....

This is a big commitment...
Just the trip for three weeks. Got to get a dress for the black and white ball instead...

I wish he just knows... without me telling...
Harry Potter's turn to give out some potion either for me or him...

My goodness...

It has been a long time since I have a crush on guy. I was sitting next to him over drink with few others. Couldn't help but smiling while looking at him (caught by him for a couple of times). His single eye lids just reminded me of the little boy that I admired from primary school.

We have met three evenings in past seven days, yet all were group gathering. He was thoughtful and tender hearted in some ways. It was really sweet of him. But, the fact might be he treats every girl with such tender heart.

I think I should better keep a distance from him before I fall deeper...

Dear Blogger, again

I wanted to write about my week... a lot to tell...
too bad it's time for bed. I will leave it for later.

Stay tune.

to be or not to be ... a bitch

I realise I am growing into a real bitch. This traces back to my days in Taipei or Singapore. In order to win, I don't care if I need to raise my voice, pick a fight, threaten people or even lie. Getting what I want is in higher priority than how people perceive me. Of course, the story has to be logical and convincing when it is being retold.

My Captain told me about the dramatic fights in the corporate finance business review. All MDs, both male and female, were confronting each other with no hesitation. Being mean and think skin seems to be one of the prerequisite of being successful.

In the office, being nice doesn't gain you what you want nor any respect. In contrary, being mean and make yourself clear about the demand (if not loud enough, I can be louder), then you are likely to get what you want, with a downside of being called a bitch behind the back.

Do I care? Let those stupid people call me name. I don't really care after I turned 30.

喜歡

越來越難說出口, 不是不喜歡, 但要想的太多了.

每次坐在他的對面, 我都很想知道關於他的多一點. 可是他懶講, 我也不敢多問. 不敢是為怕知太多我會不再喜歡...

Which is your next?

I am eyeing on Nano...

我有一堆看了會心酸得喉嚨像被嗆住了, 卻欲哭無淚的愛情片. 就是因為愛得曖昧, 似是而非.

花樣年華
Lost in Translation
空屋情人
生日快樂

我想「呼吸」將會是下一部...
這些戲, 我都喜歡躲起來看.

期待永遠比當下美麗

同樣是「完美主義者」, 可是因為「完美」的定義有別而不一樣.
雙魚和處女有說是「互相吸引又互相排斥的一對」.

唉!

現實與期待的必有落差. 我已學會叫自己不要失望，因為已在意料之內.

Here we go again...

umm... I am very skeptical about this.

Flying Pan

Esther, Carmen and I went for brunch today. Flying Pan, a 24 hours brunch place at Old Bailey Street, Soho, Central. The food was good, but the service was quite lousy. Well, the comfort food is irresistable. Despite the poor service, I will go again.

Monday's blue

The sky is grey.

Judging from the weather, it is going to rain soon. Depressing.
Anyway, Mondays are depressing.

Deep Breathe

Take it easy.

The whole episode is not as simple as thought. So, there are too many factors give negative effect on this. Well, instead of getting worry, just sit back and relax. Enjoy what is there.

Be happy!

Afterword...

就像礼拜天的brunch 一樣的comfort food. 沒有很特別的菜單, 但就是吃很舒服很滿足。最後來一杯蛇竇奶茶,令整頓午飯更完美。

我想, 若我的同伴一樣享受的話... 下回再續。

May be...

It just turned out to be another disappointing encounter.

Why am I so pessimistic all along?

This week

"Wednesday, wednesday, wednesday..." That's what I have in mind all day.

La la la love song

The tunes of the "Long Vacation" theme song is fading.

It was tiring mentally to move back home. Be it work or personal life. Although I was born and raise in this city, still I have to find my way to continue my living here again.

Instead of getting myself overwhelmed with reunion with friends, relatives, colleagues and neighbourhood. I chose to do it at my pace.

In the new phase of my life, I have found my pinch of spice to motivate myself to be a better me!

Letter "R"

Gonna miss Formosa

i thought i am going to leave without missing anybody or anything, but i realise lately, it is not true.

I miss my clients (nice ones), i miss my buddy colleagues, i miss my neighbourhood, i miss shops that i used to go...

i am gonna miss my freedom too...

70s Flower Power

Yap, that's the party.

Second biggest revenge

Best moment of the month.

I have been so depressed this month, simply because I felt inferior in front of the banana. Sure banana got pissed by now since we have done a deal without his acknowledgement.

Better be pissed. The more you got pissed, the more I am happy.

Well prepared for the 70's party at Steph... my outfit, the champagn and a very upbeat mood.

Shots...

I am planning to bring the best memory of Taiwan with me.

So, I will bit farewell to every of my friends and neighbourhood!
My girls, Far Eastern Hotel, Nail Store, Video Rental, Security Guard, the Diner, certain people in the office...

Switch off

In the middle of a client discussion, I passed out for 1/10th of a second. The scene of our last kiss flashed in my mind.

Giggle

It feels good sitting on the clean floor.
Over the weekend, I setup my little theatre in the room.

Banana sat in front of me and said "I need a definite date. Your relocation documents are still with me." He ended his sentense with a wicked smile.

I returned the signed contract to HR. The relocation process has been kicked off. The mover, the tax auditor, the relocation agent are in touch with me. The secretary is preparing my corporate card, black berry, laptop, name card, etc. Everyone knows I am going to report duty on 1st August but the wicked balding man.

Who is deciding the date of my relocation now? Me or you? Before answering this, I can't help to giggle to myself.

Akeelah and the Bee

A touching quote from the movie...

[quoting Marianne Williamson]

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.

I put a needle on the back of my hand and I have feeling in life again.

Being mean

I know a few who enjoy being mean to others. They simply born with the gene of being mean. Meanness makes them feel superior. Being mean, they feel you are stepped under their shoes.

I should find psychology books about meanness. Why are people being mean?

Banana wrote : "There is no perfect time for everyone". Suggesting me to delegate to someone, instead of asking everyone to fit my schedule.

You know what, that's what I want t you to say. I don't want to be in the conference call. It is just a waste of time. I need you to say, say it black and white. And now I have the golden medal from the emperor not to attend.

Well, good luck and I am moving to a winning team from the failing one...

Wow...

This blog is THE record of my Taipei days. Amazing. There are 300+ entries, through out the 2 years. Goods and bads are all recorded. I can imagine it is going to be fun to read them in the future.

I can't wait to go home. I can't help but wonder, would I be able to coop with the Hong Kong life?

p.s. happy birthday to 5pf.

Night market

I am counting my days in Taiwan.

Today, I walked along the night market next to my apartment. I paid extra attention to the surrounding. May be I start to miss the place. Recording places that I enjoy in Taiwan would be a good idea. Before I left the country, at least I can remind myself where I used to hang out and place that I should revisit before I leave.

Dear Blogger

Thanks for reading.
Today, I found one more among the few familar ones reading my entries.

Long weekend

Wow, finally, I have got some time off.

It started from early May when parents visited Taipei. Then I flew back with them to HK for the new VP induction, followed by the GTB training in Singapore. In the same week I returned to Taipei, Sarah visited and we spent the weekend for photo shooting. Being a model was not an easy job. After sending Sarah off on Monday, I flew off for holiday in States on the Wednesday of the very same week. Back from the time zone of 12 hours different on Monday night, I put myself together and went to work the next morning.

The four work days after the US trip felt longer than they really were. And then the long waited four days dragon boat holiday arrived.

Finally, I can sleep til whenever I like (for record, til 2pm on Sat and 11am on Sun). Being on my
own, I was watching TVB drama consecnon-stop. All time wireless online. Well, I did do something practical like two loads of laudry, cleaning the toilet, clearing my domestic paperwork (bills) and cooking for one.

I am planning to bring my newly bought book to the pool side of Shangri La tomorrow. Relax a bit and prepare for upcoming battles at work.

NYC

Thanks to the complimentary internet access of the hotel.
Can't wait to share a few better shots here.

the first blog entry created via black berry

Technology brings convenience. Wasn's able to connect in the past week, therefore no chance to update the blog. In fact, i have a lot to say since it has been one of the dramatic weeks that i have ever had. Details will be eleborated. At the moment, i rather keep things low profile.

New Asia VP induction

I am definitely a Holiday Goer.

2 days of brain washing session, free flow of alcohol and parent free evening in HK's five stars hotel... What else should I ask for?

A phone call received on Thursday evening. A call from Angel. A home call. It's time for a total home coming. And nothing can stop me.

What is the difference between Lolita and Punk

I was told Lolita enjoys taking some time out and indulges in role play. It is about the process of dressing as a character. Talk like one and live like one. When a session is done, everything gets back to normal.

But Punk is living the character, 24-7.

Everybody has a little fantasy to live as somebody else. A projection of image; Someone that one looks up to. Everyone is doing a bit of role play at work, at home or with friends.

For me, instead of the Lolita dress, I have my Armani suit, frameless glasses, high heels and branded handbag. I play a serious banker.

Walking backwards into the future

Imagine myself, walking backwards with my hands in the pocket of my burmuda short. Occassionally, I turn my head and check what is in front to avoid falling into holes.

If memories were as fragile as a notebook that can crash anytime without warning, I would pay better attention to moments of life. Otherwise, I could be walking backwards, facing a blank dimension.

Writing is the byproduct of Thinking

Reading from a random article in the magazine, the author says, "Writing is the byproduct of Thinking". This reminded me, I haven't been writing lately. It is reflected in the number of entries in the blog lately.

I am too numb to think. Or to be exact, too numb to record the dark side of my thinking. Or on the contrary, there are too many things in my mind and am too lazy to pick those worth writing.

For today, I just want to say, I slept at 2am last night in my new bed linen. This morning, I woke up without alarm. I felt good.

Nike Rock Star Workout Party

Invited by Jas, I got into the Nike Rockstar Party. I expected to be inspired by the dancers and to breath in the energy around.
A bit disappointed that Jamie King didn't perform. Here are some pic taken.
It's empty before the party started.
Swoosh everywhere...
Me wearing a neon heart. see my converse!? doesn't count as Nike even so.

Talking to no one

Browsing Friendster. Can't help clicking on his name as recent update is shown. I felt odd while knowing the fact that I will never talk to this person again.

Seeing his face in the picture, I really want to tell him I miss him.

I rather tell the wall about it because he won't give me a better respond. And that's why I decided not to talk to him.

生日快樂

The movie.

I have lots of expectation from the movie. Friends kept telling me get my kleenex prepared while watching.

Finally, I watched the DVD at home. Tearing all the way... Too many unspoken details touched me.

台灣小吃

最近愛上了盬酥雞檔的甜不辣.
鳴謝Kobe介紹的阿郎盬酥雞@通化.

下班後便不其然想起QQ的,脆而不膩的甜不辣,還有平均的灑在上面的椒盬...在通化夜市口下車,慢慢走到阿郎面前.因時間尚早,他在細心整理檔前的食物.我夾了四件甜不辣到小盤上,拜托阿郎加点九層塔下去炸.盛惠二十元.

看他把檔口弄得乾乾淨淨,每次都用吸油紙刷淨剩過炸物的小剷子才再用.對製作過程一絲不苟,讓我尊敬這位盬酥雞師父.

正因如此,他做的甜不辣才會脆而不膩.

實在甜不辣是超肥又沒有營養...

Laugh together

This is not something new. The clip has been viewed in Youtube for 11 million times. Watch again and destress from life.

Mii Family

The very first family photo that I post on the blog.

優皮士色彩的中產浪漫

集體回憶時間.
九十年代初, 大堆關於中產的電影出產. 小男人週記, 三人世界, 金枝玉葉, etc
這個年頭再沒有優皮士, 換來的是M型社會, 一係上流, 一係下流. 找個百萬富翁當男友要保持低調. 至少是十億男友才好張揚. 大量適婚女性未婚不一定因為男女比例只有49:51.
草根得很的"高朋滿坐"都穿起西裝, 圍在一起飲紅酒, 借故嘲笑草根扮中產. 聽起來有點像那個月入兩三萬, 猛話自已好鐘意聽胆機飲紅酒嗰個同學老公.
到底怎樣才算得上中產？香港最近有個官方定義, 月薪2萬到5萬港幣完全可以被示為中產. 除此以外, 教育背景, 專業, 生活模式也是定義因素之一.

講咁耐結論是... 下回再續.

連結 - 香港該如何應對“中產下流化”時代？

又買嘢...

又忍唔住買咗少少嘢.

Sunday blue

星期日黃昏過後總是悶悶不樂. 原因不用多講.
好不容易等到周末, 時間總是過得太快.
到了星期日黃昏, 是時候收拾心情上班. 之前一個礼拜的疲倦都還未恢復, 又要迎接下一個礼拜的來臨. 時間就是這樣過去, 到底我在等什麼?

As simple as that

I dropped my phone on the ground real hard. Everything was erased. Contacts and old SMS messages sent and received.
Sometimes, I wish my brain work that way as well.

米芝連三星主廚

噚日, 顧先生請食飯. 米芝連三星主廚@Sheraton Taipei.
到步才知這个是蠻exclusive的飯局. 在坐十位都是顧先生的友好, 我都略略見過.

侍應替我倒了香檳. 眼前一亮. 但是還是要等主人家舉杯, 才可呷第一口. 開始上菜, 第一道是不知名的前菜. 白酒來了. 然後是蠔湯, 上面用泡末蓋住, 保持溫度. 不錯. 接住是鵝肝松露餃子. 味道鮮甜, 但兩顆實在太少了. 再上的是魚, 一般而已. 然後是咖哩龍蝦. 好味, 如果可以配白飯更佳.

紅酒時間. 我有點醉意. 上牛肉之前, 來個sobert. 跟着就是甜品, 咖啡或茶. 盛惠每位9900, 不包酒水. 席間不時要你敬我我敬你, "酒是不可以自己飲的"...err...

Citysuper

Citysuper 是我的好朋友.
農曆年後都很忙, 這星期都八點才下班. 我知道我需要逛街解悶減壓.
不能再亂買, 我答應自己.

決定今晚去復興Sogo走走, 必要時到Citysuper花錢亦只是有限.
逛Citysuper跟逛一般百貨公司的分別是那份投入感. 推着購物車的一刻, 我便容入了店裡. 沒有售貨員喊"歡迎光臨", 我卻有賓至如歸的感覺. 富士的草毒賣399. 我把鼻子探過去嗅一嗅, 好幸福的香味呵... 這樣就夠了, 不用買. 霜降牛肉, 特價...79. 好肥美呀!明後天都不會在家吃飯, 還是買了一包, 留待礼拜六餸泡面吃. 走到賣水的兩排架子中間, 研究了好久, 結果嫌太貴沒買. 接下來是冰其淋. 選好便打開冰箱伸手去拿. 明治抹茶味, 50. 再拿了一包Wasabi青豆, 75元.
經過糖果架, 我停了下來仔細研究每一盒日本進口玩具糖果. 居然有"香港茶歺廳"玩具. 有本事的話, 仲有机会抽到奶茶壺連絲襪. 賣240, 太貴.

美中不足的就是走到收銀員面前, 他一定要你回答三个問題. 1. 有沒有Happy Go 集點咭; 2. 有沒有Citysuper 会員咭; 3. 要不要打統編. 沒有沒有不要. 好煩呀！

OK, 花了總共500有找. 開心晒!

自然定律

大自然的定律是永恆的.

理論1: 原來女人腰圍豐滿其中原因是壓カ太大.

理論2: 調查指出, 大多數男人的理想女性是擁有細小纖腰的.

結合以上的理論, 女士想最較受男士歡迎的話, 盡量讓自己遠離壓力. 即是不要讓自己工作太辛苦.

一個人的旅行

從新加坡到台北, 我都喜歡把自己打扮成隱形人 = Cap 帽+ iPod. 從前是害怕在街上碰到不該碰到的人, 但漸漸我愛上這樣的打扮. 好處是不用看人, 也不讓人看到; 不用聽, 也聽不到.

少了修飾外表的壓力, 亦避開別人為你一個人吃飯, 一個人睇电影給予的同情眼光. 一整天不用講超過八句話. 所有時間和空間都屬於我的. 可以非常集中, 去想自己的事情, 去看我喜歡的東西.

可能我已經不再需要同伴了.

選擇

今日去買咗塊手寫板, 以後可以用中文寫blog.

卅歲前後, 我有所領悟. 就係呢个世界有兩種人, 一. 有選擇既人; 二. 無選擇既人.
舉例: 聽日一定要早起番工, 無選擇, 好痛苦. 或者聽日放假, 可以選擇早点起身去嘆个早歺, 可以好享受. 只要一個人有得揀, 一切都變得暢快得多. 同樣道理可以apply落:-
返工 (如果老豆大把, 可以学Paris Hilton 咁敗家)
放假 (可以係上頭叫你交低槍同證件, 放下假)
結婚 (盲婚啞嫁!? 定係比外母迫?)
住埋 (要靠男人先有瓦遮頭?)
湊仔 (...)
上床 (...)
飲酒 (...)
陪笑 (主要指陪老細...)
玩bungy jump (有錢收另計)

tranquilizer

5pf always calmed my year-end/ new year frustrations by telling me "cos' your bday is approaching, therefore you find things around in chaos. Once you passed your bday, everything will be alright."

Starting all over again

Year of Pig is approaching.

While I was whining about receiving 5 wedding invitations for this year, I just got one cancellation.

I felt sorry for my good friend yet she admitted this might be a good move. It is better than becoming a divorcee two years later. Her case gave me another prospective of marriage, that is, marriage is not about the two people, but the two families. Yeah, marriage is a union, but the responsibility is just so big that I can't imagine at this point.

Having the 5 year relationship broken, everything is starting over again.

日出大地的乳酪蛋糕

the Holiday

Wise choice once again. I went to watch the movie solo so that I can be indulged into it.

Holiday, a romantic comedy. I cried over the comedy, as I couldn't agree more with the heroines. And that's why 5pf recommended the movie.

Couldn't help my tear over what the heroine, Iris said...

"Because you're hoping you're wrong. And every time she does something that tells you she's no good, you ignore it. And every time she comes through and suprises you, she wins you over, and you lose that argument with yourself, that she's not for you."

"It doesn't matter how many new haircuts you get, or gyms you join, or how many glasses of chardonnay you drink with your girlfriends... you still go to bed every night going over every detail and wonder what you did wrong or how you could have misunderstood. and how in the hell for that brief moment you could think that you were that happy. And sometimes you can even convince yourself that he'll see the light and show up at your door. And after all that, however long all that may be, you'll go somewhere new. and you'll meet people who make you feel worthwhile again. And little peices of your soul will finally come back. And all that fuzzy stuff, those years of your life that you wasted, that will eventually begin to fade."


P.S. Jude Law is so handsome that my heart is tweaking.

Is it a dream??

Everything still seems surreal to me.

Talking about Norah Jones again

I remember I talked about it before in the blog.

You may have forgotten, but my memory is still fresh.
Norah Jones' third album just released. The familiar Jones style ballad jazz. Intro comes with piano and then her deep sexy vocal. I felt heavy in my heart and goosebumps grew all over my arms.

It is an reaction to the memory of you and your "fairy tales", remembering your effort to impress me by picking the best looking shirt, pants and shoes for our dinner date. Looking at me with your watery eyes, you said you could count on me bringing you little gift almost everytime we met. You said, only until you got the courage, I broke the news of leaving for Taipei. Otherwise, we would be an item.

And I won't forget the awkwardness when I last met you.

Dictionary

There is dictionary for everything. Learning never stops.

Urban dictionary
found when i googled "McDreamy"
http://www.urbandictionary.com/

Coxford Singlish Dictionary
found when i googled "LoBang"
http://www.talkingcock.com/html/lexec.php?op=LexView&lexicon=lexicon

One good reason for why it's great to turn 30

Reason #1

Turning 30 means you're more mature, but still young enough to be HOTHOT HOT. No wrinkles until at least after 40!

Quoted from S.poon

I can't breath, I can't breath

I was in pain and I cried.
Crying until I was out of breathe.
A brown paper bag might help to get back my breathe.

The lost hurt me. And it still hurts.

I imagined. I was to catch you unexpected.
How would we act? I wondered.
You know what? I would just pretend that I had never known you.

Grey's Anatomy

It's a disease.
I am addicted to watching the drama Grey's Anatomy.

Whenever I am not occupied, I think of watching it. It is worse then LOST and Sex & the City... Now you see why my blog is not updated for long...

New Toy

It costs less than a discounted Sergio Rossi shoe (yes, one shoe) or a handle of a Tod's leather bag, but the joy is definitely more than double. It is a petite silver Giant (Taiwanese Brand) foldable bike.

I intend to ride it to work, to visit my friends (mainly steph & jessie), to eat brunch, to go shopping... It also helps me to befriend with the enviornment and to keep fit. Simply having the thought of it is fun!

Villa 32

A day with back to back schedule. Felina's yoga class, hair cut, facial and hotspring cum dinner at Villa 32.

See the shots taken at Villa 32:

Spoiled kid

Hello~ strawberry over Moet on a Thursday night?

Ugly girl

Chatting with a friend over lunch.

I suggested her to remove her glasses and put some make up on. That would make her look good, I thought. She shook her head and said her boyfriend gave very negative comments whenever she put on make up. He said she looks ugly with make up.

Whenever she wore a skirt, he complained about her walking too slow.

I wonder who on earth does not appreciate pretty lady. The boyfriend's comment is just about jealousy and insecurity. I sympathise the girl. Just as other sympathise me not having a partner for life yet.

Story of my Dom Perignon 98

I have bought my very first bottle and decided to pop it open at the next happy occassion.
Yeah, there wil be a next happy occassion.

Isn't it an optimistic act?

Holiday

我跟你講...

I am going to sit in front of my laptop for at least 2 hours non-stop (without any sort of interuption).

Purple

Taken from Grand Hyatt Taipei

眉來眼去

Without anybody noticed, the first time happened on the dancefloor while she was dancing with someone else.

The second time, she was holding hands with someone else.

And the third time, she was making out with another person.

He saw her as a challenge. He decided to seduce her and win her over.

1st sunrise

the very first sun rise of the island in 2007 taken at Hua Lian.

along with the witness of first sun rise, I have prepared a list of new year wishes/ resolutions to share. watch out for the next entry.

2007

Reborn.

p.s. Dear Vegetarian, there is no need for you to kill life unnecessarily!