Biker

Good that I am distracted easily...

I've received a unexpected invitation. A pleasant surprise!

heartache to headache

The dynamic between us is hard to handle, as well as my emotion.

From now on, I just pretend nothing has happened. Hope time can wash everything away, including the pain in my heart.

Speechless

This is now a totally speechless situation.

I don't want to hurt him with my sharp words; don't want to manipulate him with my tactics; don't want to make him feel sorry by victimising myself.

Meanwhile, what I need is time. Time to distract myself and move on.

Takes two to clap

As if it was just a peck on the cheek, why should I take it so seriously?
It always takes 2 to clap. He made the move, I didn't resist.

What happened last night told me there is nothing to be sorry about.

As prophet 5pf said, if not it happened to you, it would be somebody else.

Recent favourite

太陽花

作詞：鄭國江　作曲：陳百強　編曲：趙文海

她的一張小粉臉 竟可使我意志堅
看見她使我再不敢隨便叫苦或怨天
她的一張小粉臉 照澈我心
叫我能共現實作戰
望著那地平線重獲信心　她感染
願帶著歡笑來為你寫詩一篇
想將新詩高歌一遍 將它標記這一天
歌聲快樂熱情為你添
願摘太陽花　來為你編織冠冕
用快樂歡笑　來做我新的起點
新的歌聲沙灘響遍 斜陽如醉
暖暖紅日就像你的臉

I cry

After 3 weeks, it finally hit me.

I thought I was going to keep it to myself forever, yet I chose to reveal to 5pf. She is the one who won't judge me no matter how ugly I got.

There were a lot of reflections afterwards, as if I was looking into a rear mirror. I bursted out tearing for the first time. I cried not because I regreted, but because I realised I have neglected such beautiful heart being next to me no matter where I was in the past years.

It striked me because I am going to lose my angel. He was striked by my words "end of an era".

I finally understand...

I took it for granted.

Just that I was too comfortable having him there for me always. He is there to hug me whenever I need a big one. He is just a phone call away whenever I found no answer to my question.

Who knows he is my guardian angel for a decade...

I hear myself.
I hear the reason. Only til now, the feeling gets to me.

Struggle

The thought ran through my mind over and over again these few days. It's a fight between my moral and desire.

No matter how fierce the fight is, it remains within.

Saturday brunch

Brunch at Cru with Hun on last Saturday. Then we decided to chill out at Hun's apartment. Stepping into his very own apartment, the peacefulness just reminded me about the days on my own. My desire of moving out attacks me.

We watched "Russian Dolls" over rose champagn and parma. Although both of us were dead tired from the previous night out, it was still a nice and easy afternoon.

3omething = grown up!?

We both knew the rule of game too well. Although the desire was burning, nobody moved. Both were waiting for the next unplanned encounter. It took less then 14 days to happen.

We walked one step closer to the edge together, yet we agreed that was not the right time to jump.

I am still speechless. The pain is beyond words.

Ramen solo

Talking about "solo".

I treasure some "alone" time occassionally. Without obligation going home for dinner tonight, I kept the evening for myself.

I researched for the ramen place I passed by all the time at Yau Ma Ti. Simply looking at the queue, I just do not bothered to convince anyone to go with me. After 50 mins wait, I finally sat down and enjoyed my ramen. Not bad.

I won't disapprove anybody's life style and I wish nobody would disapprove mine.

Best of both world

An engaged man was telling me how tough it is to face temptations around and there is a long way to go after getting married. And said what if... he is single.

For thirty minutes, he "lectured" me for not being able to open up to meet my Mr. Right and I will end up being alone forever, i.e. single.

Spoke to a girl friend over the phone, asking about her married life. She complaint about her newly wedded husband hung out every single Friday with friends until 4am, 5am and left her alone at home.

She asked me if I am seeing anyone special. She said, I shouldn't be having flings around and should settle down. I can't help but response by saying "at least, I am the one hanging out til 4am on Fridays".

Can I be single, but not single? Can I be married, but not married?

Flu

This is a brand new idea told by a single man. My Mr. Island, Hun.

He said, having a fling is just like having a flu. You know it takes time to recover and it will be gone soon. Everything will be back to normal then.

I like this idea.

p.s. Hun complimented my blog entry. He said the words are beautifully put together.

I wanted to talk.
But I can't think of anything to say.
I can't find no reason to do so.

So I remain silence until we are both ready.

走鋼線

想也沒有想過,
從哪來的勇氣,
讓那藏了很久的心意向彼此表達了.

我猜, 也再不必多言.

很難 張震嶽

有一天的一個晴天　陽光映在這張舊沙發
躺下來閉上眼　渾然不知寂寞正在蔓延
昨天的激情　今天的空寂
還有一張慘白的臉　慢慢改變
一杯水和一支香煙　混合安靜孤獨的氣味
是真情是謊言　星期天的早晨別太絕對
瘋狂的世界陌生的鞋　鎖在門之外
有時候　想把自己關起來　
還是　學著把心門打開
人與人之間的關係變得不理不睬　
習慣無關緊要的冷淡
有時候　莫名其妙哭起來　難道這就是自怨自哀
誰不希望像飛鳥一樣自由自在　誰不希望啊　誰不希望　只是很難

There is another secret to be kept.

Now I am sober.
But I guess I wasn't drunk.