"we"

Looks like someone has started thinking about "we"...
Initiating a list of our "next stop"sss... like Barcelona, Croacia, London, Bali, Taipei... and Singapore.

Yes, Singapore... He initiated, not me.

雙魚X2

The adventure begins... let me buckle up and get set...
Who knows where it will lead to, just enjoy the ride...

"The roads are always open. Keep running"

I am impressed by the efficient shipment. One very heart warming thing: the ipod is half charged when delievered. That means, the new owner can try on all functions without a second of delay.

很脆弱

好像從新學走路一樣, 每步都有點兒不肯定。
怕的是跌倒, 頭破血流,
要自已站起來, 很可憐。

幸好, 剛走過的一步給了我一點信心和勇氣,
我想我會向前走吧。。。

where i belonged...

Singapore and Taipei are my weak points...

When I am wore out... the most I miss is Singapore and Taipei... the people, the lifestyle, the food, the smell, the passerby...

went to Singapore for 3 times this year?... and time for Taipei...

I miss the moment, strolling along 忠孝, 敦南... miss the chaos, miss the disorder...
I am coming in December... I am coming...

Phoenix's farewell

Mixed feeling. I should be happy more than sad.
Phoenix will be flying to US with his new parents. There is a great life ahead of him and wish him all the best.

without reference

It happened, and there have been plenty of chances for the participants to back out gracefully. Well, seemingly no party wanted to withdraw at that moment.

Things changed since then.

Can our relationship be maintained? Advanced or deteriorated?

My Sister's Keeper

How would a sister not love a sister?

Even if it is gonna be painful, you will love hers as she is your best friend on earth in this life. You will be willing to do anything for her, just because.

我問...

究竟下一刻會發生甚麼呢?
期待九一一。

那麼遠...

只要心接近, 距離, 有關係嗎?

五辮花, 我也很渴望回來... 在椰樹下發我的白日夢...

Blame no one

should I be able to squeeze time for self reflection, I should be about to write. Just that I haven't put the effort of doing so yet.

It's about paying attention to my feeling

i realise another reason for lacking of blog entry...
I didn't pay much attention to my feeling.

When reflecting my mental state, I realise I am looking at the whole thing from a distance, which is interesting to know.

Someone kept sending mixed signals. Due to the inconsistency, I have also discounted the positive ones.

I wonder...

The biggest loser

I am happy because there is a break through in my weight level after a long plateau. My hard work counts.

My BMI was 17.7!!!

Well, better jog tomorrow as a new round of hot spring egg will be in production.

hung out with an old timer. both of us have been away from home for a good while. sitting next to each other we talked about north east south west, as if we were not apart for too long.

we went to lit class together back then, both of us have once written, and yet not back home.

it is sad to realise, the room for imagination, room to think, room for reflection has been killed back home. as if I step back to the concrete and can't affort to daydream anymore. i scream for a rescue, an escape...

at home, i have many roles to play and i have to be the big sister everybody look up to... i am back to monotone, colourless...

and daydream is me. and i can't do that anymore at home... i can't be myself!? or can i do something about it?

barely a date

It has been a long time I was asked to dinner by a guy.
I am happy!

Blog

Yes, when I was still in the air, I had plenty of ideas about updating my blog. And once I touched down on the land of HKSAR... the air pressure seemed to suppressed all of them. And they are now all gone.

I have Hong Kong done to me?

A pleasant surprise II

D is back in town this weekend, without advance noticed. We had drink+dinner+drink together today. I was so happy. I just enjoy the chit chat about everyday life and my view on things and of course some tears on him being a silly pig.

He is the best!

feeling a bit dizzy in the store, i pointed at this this and that to the sales girl.
i was brought to the fitting room... and tried on the items...

i heard myself saying to the sales girl, this one i want, and this, this and that...

i took my plastic out. At a swipe, there goes a week of salary...

i suspect, i was drugged and led to the store unconscious.

Sometimes, my anger ran up to my throat and I wanted to scold him. Screaming COWARD.

But then, I stoped and thought twice before I acted.

I swallowed the anger and moved on.

4am

I know I wont talk to you anymore. It's about defending my dignity.
But I have to confess the fact that, at 4am... under much alcohol influence,

I look at you in black and white.

I can't care less

Hey, I am living my life. What the hell!?!?
I run, I workout and I eat... I drink and I am trying to be slim.
Antiaging... stay young...
I hate my job but I need my salary. I love weekend but it is always too short.
I could never go to work on time, but I always stay overtime... breakeven for the bank
I need solo time, but I live with Mom... then what to do??
No more leather shoes or handbags... sorry to Lane Crawlford...
Many trips... congrats CX, Dragon Air and SQ.... seems not used to other airlines anymore...

No more bonus next year... still need to pay for my lean skin....

Mentor talks

I have two very meaningful talks with my mentors. One focuses on work and the other on life and relationship.

I am lucky to have two such generous mentors to give me guidiance.

... I wonder if he is going to disappear from my life like that for good?

Afterall, human being is no saint. The longer I see this world... the less I am shocked by any "abnormal" behavior of human being... no matter how discipline the person was in the past.

Well, the bottomline is be faithful to our conscious.

disappear

no matter one appears to be strong and confidence about oneself, one could be insecured at times. Someone deems to be important in one's life... disappear one day... one couldn't help but wonder where the hell did that someone has gone? and why is the reason for the disappearence.

While busy thinking of a possibly never answered question... one has neglected other important ones are actually right here.

Look no where, but now here.

Growing

The breeze was refreshing at 2am, especially after the rain. The clock ticked faster than usual. From application of Halal cert to ebay charges on toy bidding, from mail ordered bride to 30K gold rolex, this boy was so enthusiastic about sharing his stories of life.

I wished the Merlion water spouting would go on and no one was reminded about the time.

:
:

I admit I was at one moment fragile. This was the Nth time passing the ECP. The green kept passing by my side and so did the laughters. Everytime, I moved on alone with courage, and this was no exception.

:
:

With 5pf, I enjoyed being mischievous, to annoy her until she rolled eyes. I missed hearing her whining in 1 or 2 pitches higher, just like the old days.

:
:

The unfinished business still left unfinished. May be we are just indifference to it and each other.

Sometimes living in a lie is better than facing the truth.

When I was walking to work today, I suddenly realised, my other half could be a person with potential but this potential not neccessarily be discovered before madly in love...

This should have been learnt decade ago... that's why I always say I am a slow learner...

Things that I miss from Taipei can't be "take-away".

The manicure by Wei Li, brunch at Diners, sushi meal at Mitsui, books browsing at Elite, deep fried "Tempura" at night market... etc...

I hope I have grown older and wiser. Instead of forcing thing happen, I'd chose to wait for it to happen. Everyone would be happier in this case.


I should rather think about printing my Mickey Mouse for Sunday morning. I have to show Phoenix the real Mickey Mouse... not Minnie.

To finish the unfinished.
And it takes two to clap.
In the wee hour, while everyone is sound a sleep, we were laying out a plan together. My comrade said, if there is the will, there is a way.

I do

He said.

It takes almost a year for me to forgive him. Forgive him for being imature and being irresponsible. I have punished him my way. I thought it was time to forgive and forget.

The devil knocked on the door just now.

I turned my back and refused to let the history repeat. That is the least I can do to save the mended friendship from going down the drain.

22nd entry

It's already May, and there are only 21 entries for the year so far.

I am skimming Fuigo's blog and this boy has been keeping up with the good job ever since. I feel shameful.

I was eating my pack of imported salt and vinegar potato chips that carries 200Kcal. Well, I was happily doing that because I have earnt a quota of 139 Kcal from jogging today.

Flying to Singapore... time for me to sink in. I need to be away from people, to think.

Primary sweetheart'S'

Time flies. Thanks to search engine, We reconnect after almost two decades.

One thing in common after all these years, without an exception, they all become chubby pre-middle aged men. Probably they all are high in cholesterol.

I wonder, with such appearance, he must be a contained man. Happily settled with a decent job and a better half. No worries about his outlook... and not yet worry about his health...

So, on the other hand, half of the well built, muscular six-packs men out there would turn out to be gay and half are not ready to settle down. And what is the moral behind this?

Pick of the trip

Need a touch of romance in Spring...

Bring home the taste with me

I might not be the only one on earth doing so.
I'd always love to not only enjoy the taste of local food when travelling, but also bringing them home as much as possible. In a way, this allows me to linger in the bit and pieces of the foreign land advanture...

From the recent trip, Ming and I purposely made trips to local markets in Paris and London. And we were happy about the findings. We bought different kinds of olives, sea salt with herbs, parma ham, salami, macarons and chips. The other day after I returned, I sat myself at the table with a plate of a bit of everything, sweet and salty, along with half bottle of merlot. The taste simply brought me back to the sunny day in Paris...

Eat Oyster in Paris

As told by the old French lady who sat next to us, Garnier is the second best oyster place in Paris. Near to Galeries Lafayette/ Printemp (see address below).

We chosed to sit at the Oyster Bar as it is almost EUR4 cheaper per 6 pieces and the service is actually better (given the two black faced waiter and waitress in the dining room). Besides oyster, Bulot is also very crisp and sweet, it is just sinful when it is covered with mayonnaise...

Some more oyster recommendations from the internet (忠道的巴黎小站)

喫生蠔:-
Garnier, 111 rue St-Lazare, 75008. Tel: 01 43 87 50 40-
Brasserie Lorraine, 2-4 place des Ternes, 75008. Metro Ternes (near Arc de Triomphe). Tel: 01 56 21 22 00-
La Cagouille, 10-12 place Constantin, 75014. Metro Gaite (near St. Honour) Tel: 01 43 22 09 02

Taken for 5pf's D

Picture taken outside of Hourse of Bols @ Amsterdam.
http://www.houseofbols.com/index.asp

Life less ordinary

Among the ordinary life, I'd love to be less ordinary. A friend said, my stories in life repeated itself over and over again.

Well, I wish my life is ordinary yet less ordinary and I am trying to live one.

Or, this is just a way to comfort myself... about not having a life that everyone besides me is expecting, that is, to meet the "right" guy, date, get marry, give birth to a cute little one, working hard to raise him/her...

Is it important to live upto people's expectation or simply have an enjoyable life with a worry-free future!?

Nachos

This is the second time I made my very own salsa. Tomato, onion, cilantro and avocado. Fattening yet delicious!!!

I ask myself

Is it really no time to think or refuse to think? Is it really no time to meet new friends or refuse to meet new friends? Is it really no time to care about my parents or refuse to spend time? Is it really no time to workout or too lazy?

Why missing life in the past? The present is always not as good? Or I just chose to remember just the best part of the past.

I was day dreaming about eating at Epicurious. Why didn't I visit my favourite restaurant in Singapore in the last five visits? Errr......

Take care of myself... sign of aging...

For some reasons, I am very motivated to exercise this week. Gym on Thursday and Friday. Yoga on Saturday and jogging at Bowen Road on Sunday.

At the same time, I ate a lot. Next week must cut down on the food.

One more resolution, it is to sleep early and have seven and half hours of sleep.

Life in HK

is draining, spritually...
no thinking, therefore no output.

Getting there

There were at least 2 people told me that I looked slimmer... Yeah, my hard work pays!

Donna said, I have the best combination of work out to loss weight. Flex, strength and cardio. I wish I could exercise more on strength on my own.

Just that the mood at work is a bit down, I couldn't motivate myself to go gym at lunch (rather do more work at my desk)...

So looking forward to my jog around the Eiffel Tower.

Striking

I saw a newly posted picture of my dear friend.
He looks good.

32

I have set myself a goal to meet on my 32nd birthday. Well, it is almost there. One KG to go. I know, I can do it and I did it!

I am my own biggest loser... reduced by 7% of my total weight. Now, it's time for tonning and get ready for summer!

Indefinite

Goodbye 7 pounds...

As of now, I have got rid of 7 pounds and I am happy!
3 more to go by my bday and I am ready to rock!

Ha...

I want a spa to pamper myself badly... if I got my big B this year...

5 senses

Sight, Hearing, Taste, Smell, Touch...

It is a pleasure to share the five senses with my good friend. A beautiful song, delicate petite pastries, soft cotton pajama, cute wooden apples, funny soda candies, an almost perfect recipe of Vongole, a 3D paper snow ball...

It would be nice if they could be hand delivered by ourselves, if not, by post.

Bad date with a great movie

I could imagine... there is never a "great date with a bad movie", cos if you have a great date, I suppose you won't care if the theatre was not playing the right movie.

Well, today I had a bad date with a great movie.

I admit I didn't go with an open heart. We suppose to meet at 2pm and watch movie at 5pm. To shorten the free time before movie, I push the meeting from 2 to 3:30, bad!

We sat down for a coffee at an alfresco cafe under a fine weather. He ordered the second one which wasn't served after 20 mins. Right after he chased the waiter for the third time, I suggested to cancel the drink and go for a walk at the mall instead. Man... I just can't sit there and talk anymore. Bad bad!!

But, I must admit, the movie was good.

非誠勿擾

一見鍾情不是你一眼看上了我或者是我一眼看上了你，不是看，是味道，彼此被對方的氣味吸引了，迷住了，氣味相投你懂嗎？

Mini mozarella cherry tomato with basil

新年

一月一日嘅元旦跑完成了!

2009要身體健康, keep fit! 我已經準備好了。

耐克跑鞋, ipod nike +, 計步器(pedometer), pulse sensor watch. 我是認真的!

Listen to my heart

Less than 20 mins to 2009.

A number of memorable things have happened to me in 2008. All in all, it was an interesting year. The road in front is not easy but yet I am full of faith. The most important thing to me is I should continue my journey by listening to my heart.

I am not a material girl, I am a dreamy romantic pisces.

Balance

I am giving it a try. Learn to love without love at first sight. Not sure if it's gonna work out. Give both him and myself a chance.

Plenty of daydream... to balance my mind. Forgive me, cos' I really need it.

D confessed about him spying and stalking on someone he admired.

I am just second to him in a different way, of course, harmless ways...

Just not keen to go to work

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

so romantic

that's life

if not the phone was by my side, i won't got the message. if not I got the message, i won't go out. And i won't be sent home by uncle...

smile.

seems that 2008 christmas is going to be a good one...

2:08 am. a bit tipsy...
i couldn't help to tell the person in the pix about my heart beat...
my honesty is appreciated.
ha...

New Year Resolution 2009 #1

loss 2kg or more by birthday.

妄想

好鬼死耐無試過個心跳得咁快。可能有十幾廿年吧！
喂, 真係好鬼難得咁興奮。青春真係無價。我響度懷疑某人根本係特登將張相舖比本小姐睇嘅。哈哈，似唔似「思覺失調」嗰d人，話新聞響度講緊佢呀。

我同自已講，肥同肚腩係唔可以再出現嘅！再唔做d嘢就真係死咗唔駛恨。。。

heart beat

In one evening, I had my heart beat fast twice. Second time beated 10 times faster and still beating fast now. OMG!

Chemistry Class

I was reading my book on the ferry to China. The paragraph about "Dopamine" caught my attention. I read repeatedly, it said " Basically, anything the brain perceives to be enjoyable will cause dopamine to lock onto brain cells and build a permanent memory trace of where pleasure comes from."

I am glad to know that at least I know the source of my urge.

- findings from wikipedia on Dopamine
Dopamine is commonly associated with the pleasure system of the brain, providing feelings of enjoyment and reinforcement to motivate a person proactively to perform certain activities. Dopamine is released by naturally rewarding experiences such as food, sex, drugs, and neutral stimuli that become associated with them.

It's complicated

There was no goodbye at the door. Never mention about our next encounter, as none of us knows what will happen next.

I wish, if there is a next, everything could be more simple and straight forward.

Blank

The clock is ticking... the world is turning...
In 1/10 sec, I passed out...

I have done a good job controlling my emotion through out these days. Yet, my true feeling is somehow confined. Is this the price of growing up?

Shall we dance

I had a few glasses over dinner. With a light hearted mood, I danced along with the host to Michael Buble. I, know nothing about dancing, just followed the lead and turn carefree. I was laughing and the audiance applaused.

Am I ready to let go of the control I am obssessed with and follow the lead?

Proof of Age

The colour of this bus ticket is fading, so is my memory. The typings from the vending machine could bearly be read... 16:14... 20AU... 90c...

Thought I was able to keep my memory by holding on to this tiny slip, yet I can't do much to avoid the image turn blurry. At the end, the tiny slip is just a waste when no more memory is attached to it.

May be this is the best way to set me free from clinging to the past.

Sleep walk

Not then, but now.


My memory is fading, probably because of age. I couldn't keep track of when exactly was the last time we met. Two or three years ago? No matter how hard I tried to search my files in my brain, I couldn't be sure about it.

It is just weird, we must wait even longer to see each other for the next time. Well, better than never... or may be never. Who knows?

And I rather stay in dream.

Book

Kept thinking, but no action. I must not give myself a chance to look down on me. I am going to bring all entries out of the virtual space. It is safer to be in my bookshelf.

Will get it done by Christmas 2008.

Silent rebel

I am still upset about what had happened and the way matter was handled. Now, I am making a stand to show that I have a choice. I chose not to show up and not to be supportive. I lied and we both knew. A lie that you and I chose to believe.

This marked an end and the friendship went flatline.

White Lie

As I grew old, I realise, sometimes telling a white lie makes no harm. Everybody will be happy. The reality is too cruel to be faced, why put it on the table? With one white lie, everybody has their staircase to step down elegantly... why not?

I am sad, no matter what. If so, I prefer to make other's life easier.

Going to Singapore is a good excuse to escape.

Outside of the circle

I was told I belong to the outside. We met outside of his circle and at the end, he will go back into it. Good description. Now, I understand.

I am just passer-by, not important, at all...

In a gay club

Only until I experienced it, I realise how much fun it is when I am 100% care free and be my true self at clubbing.

I actually joined the conversation of the guys standing next to me. I ran into people from all paves, speaking Taiwanese, French, Japanese... We were all enjoying the company of each other and laughing so hard.

About friendship

It was over the top of my tolerance level. I gave him a piece of my mind via sms. May be I am done with putting up with his "being spontaneous".

I let go of another other one...

remember with my taste bud

A friend asked me what good is Singapore? This is one of the FAQs to me. I realise, not too many people agree with me on good food in Singapore. No no no, not Pepper crabs...

Black carrot cake in the very warm hawker centre, Curry mee at Hong Lim after the long queue, Fishball noodle late night at Newton, Roti prata at River Valley before rolling home after zouk, Green eggs at Epicurious along river side on a lazy Sunday, a Teh from the little tuck shop behind Suntec at snaking hour, Chicken rice at Chin Chin Purvis St..

The taste is unique to me as my very own Singapore memories to come with.

2009

I have been thinking of spending 1 week each in Shanghai and Beijing next year and wonder around the cities, alone or with Ming if she is also up for it.

It just keeps haunting me. Keep thinking about what excuse i should come up with not attending. I have to lie to everyone around me, including my closest. D said I can't face it cos' I am not over it yet. That's not true. Just that I am not comfortable with the fact that someone taking a vow, promising to be with another person together forever. Yet, the person doesn't mean it. Smiling, laughing and cheering for the rest of the world but himself. I don't want to be part of it, faking it together with him. Why? Why we need to do that? Why am I forced to do that?

Hard earned weekend

I am going to watch TV like there is no tomorrow...

You are my person

One of the many reasons I am addicted to Grey's is the friendship between Meredith and Cristina. In the first season, Cristina revealed her secret preganancy to Meredith and told her that she was put as the emergency person. That's where "the person" came from.

And in the Fifth season, Meredith is struggling about moving in with Derek.
Meredith: If I'm going to do this, and be whole and healthy and be a warm, gooey person who lives with a boy... then I need you on board. I need you to cheer me on. Because you're the only one who knows me. Darkly. Really knows me. I need you to pretend that I can do this even if you don't believe. Because if you abandon me now, I will never make it, and I will never get my happy ending and that's just...life.
Cristina: Mer, why do you care what I think?
Meredith: Because you're my person!

Lucky to have found my person away from home.

Copybook

I just went through some wedding pictures of an old friend from Singapore. Shots after shots of a happy bride, making grant entrance, cutting cake, toasting, giving speech, laughing next to the groom... Many of my Singapore friends are now married. They should all have their beautiful shots from the wedding day.

But why all seem to be in the same mode?

Like Lisa said, people out there are writing copybook, it must start with capital letter A and ended with Z. Why bother to composite anything unique?

I had my Singapore outing for 7 days.

Spent some quality time with my parents. Had a good chat over brunch with 5pf, catching up on work and play.

I hate the fact that I didn't have sufficient alone time to sort things out (the only achievement was the 3 hours on flight, reading paper, book and working on my saving plan). It has been very stressful at work since the beginning of September. Very uncertain.

May be I will spend the coming few "parent-free" days to sit and think.

After Singapore trip...

I ask myself to save for the rainy days.
Dine out less and drink less is essential.

Planning my trip to Singapore...

As simple as that...

The couple sat there in front of the church. Talking into each other's ears and kissing on the cheeks...

in Lisbon

沒結果

鬧哄的約會告終 感覺驟變空
空似是街邊的風 凍或還是痛

擁抱著晚風 怎算是抱擁
不過又心中洶湧 你臂胳 你面容 你在情動
在這夜多麼的想你 明明明白不應再想起
愛吧 就來愛愛我吧 用我一晚自尊去換你

或許我是野花 偏你是野草
怎再又裝作不知道 你亂懷亂抱
知道又怎麼 你一笑我便醉倒
不要又心中洶湧 你眼眸你熱唇 你是情做

by 林憶蓮

2008, I am 31, single.
On a random day, I pick this old song from my ipod and is stunned...
A song written 16 years ago, listening to it today, I am hitted by every single words in the lyric.

Instead of giving money

I chose to give my time and effort directly.

What an obsession

Well, I have taken home my very own Sex and the City Movie DVD.

Friendship

My friends like (and hate sometimes) me the way I am and never attempt to change me.

500 hits

Stolen hours in the middle of the night. Dead slience.

Counting cash notes hidden under the pillow (left over EUR & GBP from trip), reviewing the account statements and registering outstanding debt from people, that's what a single old woman does on a sleepless night.

Lou and Andy

2 characters who I used to feel nonsense yet now fall in love with. A beliver of friendship, I am impressed by one who takes care of a friend selflessly. Even though it is just a character on TV.
http://www.lou-and-andy.com/
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lou_and_Andy

The holiday finished.

What's left are jet lag, wide awake at 4am, evening meeting til now...

The holiday begins

... Yeah... A hard earnt holiday!!!

firework

was talking to my married girl friends about the crush...

they hold a totally different prospective.

i kept having internal conversation with myself while talking to them. Firework or not? What do I want? Me, I know better. At this point, I am not brave enough for another spectacular firework. I want something that last.

Turning 30's... bloody hell...

I know exactly what i am doing and I prefer a friendship much more than just a spike in life. Even he hinted again and so what.

I love UST

D

I was talking to D on my way back from work.

Heart-warming...

Busy Bee

Too many things to do, too little time to think, in turn, I have too little output for the blog.

Recent projects for me are to lose weight (I am not talking only, but aim at workout four times a week) and to prepare for trip to Lisbon and London.

I'd like to write about the summer, the Olympics, the Sunday mission, the primary school mates encounter, etc... I will try to take some "time out" and allow myself to think.

Typhoon No.8

Wind fall holiday came just like a lottery. Since it was not a hard earnt holiday, the time was burnt aimlessly.

Served on the web, played with Wii fit for 45 mins, organised my itunes, created my "workout" playlist, watched 2nd half of "21"...

Pray for my iphone babe

Get well soon