Blame no one

should I be able to squeeze time for self reflection, I should be about to write. Just that I haven't put the effort of doing so yet.

It's about paying attention to my feeling

i realise another reason for lacking of blog entry...
I didn't pay much attention to my feeling.

When reflecting my mental state, I realise I am looking at the whole thing from a distance, which is interesting to know.

Someone kept sending mixed signals. Due to the inconsistency, I have also discounted the positive ones.

I wonder...

The biggest loser

I am happy because there is a break through in my weight level after a long plateau. My hard work counts.

My BMI was 17.7!!!

Well, better jog tomorrow as a new round of hot spring egg will be in production.

hung out with an old timer. both of us have been away from home for a good while. sitting next to each other we talked about north east south west, as if we were not apart for too long.

we went to lit class together back then, both of us have once written, and yet not back home.

it is sad to realise, the room for imagination, room to think, room for reflection has been killed back home. as if I step back to the concrete and can't affort to daydream anymore. i scream for a rescue, an escape...

at home, i have many roles to play and i have to be the big sister everybody look up to... i am back to monotone, colourless...

and daydream is me. and i can't do that anymore at home... i can't be myself!? or can i do something about it?

barely a date

It has been a long time I was asked to dinner by a guy.
I am happy!

Blog

Yes, when I was still in the air, I had plenty of ideas about updating my blog. And once I touched down on the land of HKSAR... the air pressure seemed to suppressed all of them. And they are now all gone.

I have Hong Kong done to me?

A pleasant surprise II

D is back in town this weekend, without advance noticed. We had drink+dinner+drink together today. I was so happy. I just enjoy the chit chat about everyday life and my view on things and of course some tears on him being a silly pig.

He is the best!

feeling a bit dizzy in the store, i pointed at this this and that to the sales girl.
i was brought to the fitting room... and tried on the items...

i heard myself saying to the sales girl, this one i want, and this, this and that...

i took my plastic out. At a swipe, there goes a week of salary...

i suspect, i was drugged and led to the store unconscious.

Sometimes, my anger ran up to my throat and I wanted to scold him. Screaming COWARD.

But then, I stoped and thought twice before I acted.

I swallowed the anger and moved on.

4am

I know I wont talk to you anymore. It's about defending my dignity.
But I have to confess the fact that, at 4am... under much alcohol influence,

I look at you in black and white.

I can't care less

Hey, I am living my life. What the hell!?!?
I run, I workout and I eat... I drink and I am trying to be slim.
Antiaging... stay young...
I hate my job but I need my salary. I love weekend but it is always too short.
I could never go to work on time, but I always stay overtime... breakeven for the bank
I need solo time, but I live with Mom... then what to do??
No more leather shoes or handbags... sorry to Lane Crawlford...
Many trips... congrats CX, Dragon Air and SQ.... seems not used to other airlines anymore...

No more bonus next year... still need to pay for my lean skin....

Mentor talks

I have two very meaningful talks with my mentors. One focuses on work and the other on life and relationship.

I am lucky to have two such generous mentors to give me guidiance.

... I wonder if he is going to disappear from my life like that for good?

Afterall, human being is no saint. The longer I see this world... the less I am shocked by any "abnormal" behavior of human being... no matter how discipline the person was in the past.

Well, the bottomline is be faithful to our conscious.

disappear

no matter one appears to be strong and confidence about oneself, one could be insecured at times. Someone deems to be important in one's life... disappear one day... one couldn't help but wonder where the hell did that someone has gone? and why is the reason for the disappearence.

While busy thinking of a possibly never answered question... one has neglected other important ones are actually right here.

Look no where, but now here.

Growing

The breeze was refreshing at 2am, especially after the rain. The clock ticked faster than usual. From application of Halal cert to ebay charges on toy bidding, from mail ordered bride to 30K gold rolex, this boy was so enthusiastic about sharing his stories of life.

I wished the Merlion water spouting would go on and no one was reminded about the time.

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I admit I was at one moment fragile. This was the Nth time passing the ECP. The green kept passing by my side and so did the laughters. Everytime, I moved on alone with courage, and this was no exception.

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With 5pf, I enjoyed being mischievous, to annoy her until she rolled eyes. I missed hearing her whining in 1 or 2 pitches higher, just like the old days.

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The unfinished business still left unfinished. May be we are just indifference to it and each other.

Sometimes living in a lie is better than facing the truth.

When I was walking to work today, I suddenly realised, my other half could be a person with potential but this potential not neccessarily be discovered before madly in love...

This should have been learnt decade ago... that's why I always say I am a slow learner...

Things that I miss from Taipei can't be "take-away".

The manicure by Wei Li, brunch at Diners, sushi meal at Mitsui, books browsing at Elite, deep fried "Tempura" at night market... etc...

I hope I have grown older and wiser. Instead of forcing thing happen, I'd chose to wait for it to happen. Everyone would be happier in this case.


I should rather think about printing my Mickey Mouse for Sunday morning. I have to show Phoenix the real Mickey Mouse... not Minnie.