Book

Kept thinking, but no action. I must not give myself a chance to look down on me. I am going to bring all entries out of the virtual space. It is safer to be in my bookshelf.

Will get it done by Christmas 2008.

Silent rebel

I am still upset about what had happened and the way matter was handled. Now, I am making a stand to show that I have a choice. I chose not to show up and not to be supportive. I lied and we both knew. A lie that you and I chose to believe.

This marked an end and the friendship went flatline.

White Lie

As I grew old, I realise, sometimes telling a white lie makes no harm. Everybody will be happy. The reality is too cruel to be faced, why put it on the table? With one white lie, everybody has their staircase to step down elegantly... why not?

I am sad, no matter what. If so, I prefer to make other's life easier.

Going to Singapore is a good excuse to escape.

Outside of the circle

I was told I belong to the outside. We met outside of his circle and at the end, he will go back into it. Good description. Now, I understand.

I am just passer-by, not important, at all...

In a gay club

Only until I experienced it, I realise how much fun it is when I am 100% care free and be my true self at clubbing.

I actually joined the conversation of the guys standing next to me. I ran into people from all paves, speaking Taiwanese, French, Japanese... We were all enjoying the company of each other and laughing so hard.

About friendship

It was over the top of my tolerance level. I gave him a piece of my mind via sms. May be I am done with putting up with his "being spontaneous".

I let go of another other one...

remember with my taste bud

A friend asked me what good is Singapore? This is one of the FAQs to me. I realise, not too many people agree with me on good food in Singapore. No no no, not Pepper crabs...

Black carrot cake in the very warm hawker centre, Curry mee at Hong Lim after the long queue, Fishball noodle late night at Newton, Roti prata at River Valley before rolling home after zouk, Green eggs at Epicurious along river side on a lazy Sunday, a Teh from the little tuck shop behind Suntec at snaking hour, Chicken rice at Chin Chin Purvis St..

The taste is unique to me as my very own Singapore memories to come with.

2009

I have been thinking of spending 1 week each in Shanghai and Beijing next year and wonder around the cities, alone or with Ming if she is also up for it.

It just keeps haunting me. Keep thinking about what excuse i should come up with not attending. I have to lie to everyone around me, including my closest. D said I can't face it cos' I am not over it yet. That's not true. Just that I am not comfortable with the fact that someone taking a vow, promising to be with another person together forever. Yet, the person doesn't mean it. Smiling, laughing and cheering for the rest of the world but himself. I don't want to be part of it, faking it together with him. Why? Why we need to do that? Why am I forced to do that?

Hard earned weekend

I am going to watch TV like there is no tomorrow...

You are my person

One of the many reasons I am addicted to Grey's is the friendship between Meredith and Cristina. In the first season, Cristina revealed her secret preganancy to Meredith and told her that she was put as the emergency person. That's where "the person" came from.

And in the Fifth season, Meredith is struggling about moving in with Derek.
Meredith: If I'm going to do this, and be whole and healthy and be a warm, gooey person who lives with a boy... then I need you on board. I need you to cheer me on. Because you're the only one who knows me. Darkly. Really knows me. I need you to pretend that I can do this even if you don't believe. Because if you abandon me now, I will never make it, and I will never get my happy ending and that's just...life.
Cristina: Mer, why do you care what I think?
Meredith: Because you're my person!

Lucky to have found my person away from home.

Copybook

I just went through some wedding pictures of an old friend from Singapore. Shots after shots of a happy bride, making grant entrance, cutting cake, toasting, giving speech, laughing next to the groom... Many of my Singapore friends are now married. They should all have their beautiful shots from the wedding day.

But why all seem to be in the same mode?

Like Lisa said, people out there are writing copybook, it must start with capital letter A and ended with Z. Why bother to composite anything unique?

I had my Singapore outing for 7 days.

Spent some quality time with my parents. Had a good chat over brunch with 5pf, catching up on work and play.

I hate the fact that I didn't have sufficient alone time to sort things out (the only achievement was the 3 hours on flight, reading paper, book and working on my saving plan). It has been very stressful at work since the beginning of September. Very uncertain.

May be I will spend the coming few "parent-free" days to sit and think.

After Singapore trip...

I ask myself to save for the rainy days.
Dine out less and drink less is essential.

Planning my trip to Singapore...

As simple as that...

The couple sat there in front of the church. Talking into each other's ears and kissing on the cheeks...

in Lisbon

沒結果

鬧哄的約會告終 感覺驟變空
空似是街邊的風 凍或還是痛

擁抱著晚風 怎算是抱擁
不過又心中洶湧 你臂胳 你面容 你在情動
在這夜多麼的想你 明明明白不應再想起
愛吧 就來愛愛我吧 用我一晚自尊去換你

或許我是野花 偏你是野草
怎再又裝作不知道 你亂懷亂抱
知道又怎麼 你一笑我便醉倒
不要又心中洶湧 你眼眸你熱唇 你是情做

by 林憶蓮

2008, I am 31, single.
On a random day, I pick this old song from my ipod and is stunned...
A song written 16 years ago, listening to it today, I am hitted by every single words in the lyric.

Instead of giving money

I chose to give my time and effort directly.

What an obsession

Well, I have taken home my very own Sex and the City Movie DVD.

Friendship

My friends like (and hate sometimes) me the way I am and never attempt to change me.