Value

Well, being a person who appreciates experience in life, I have no regret being away from home for the past 3 years. Afterall, I treasure all the friendships I have gained in these years.

My father once told me, according to the Buddist saying, the probability of 2 related person meeting is extremely low. Don't know where the statistic comes from, he said, the next time you meet the person who sat next to you on star ferry this morning will be 200 million years later. Well, that shows how precious for you to meet someone and become friends (not to mention becoming boyfriend/ girlfriend)...

Thank you for all the friends I met on the road I travelled in the past 36 months...

Naive

Everytime we sat together, he would tell me, he was proud that we were still in touch. Why should he be proud while I have been the one who dedicate to preserve the relationship? I made every effort to keep the relationship alive. What has he done?

Two weeks ago, I decided to unplug and kill the 8-year relationship, as I did not see any point to continue giving endlessly. I am tired to be the one always taking the initiative. If he doesn't care, why should I?

I bury all the memories with no regret. I am just hopeless, period.

2 faces of Eve

Putting as much make-up as I can to make my small eyes look BIG. Deep blue, aqua green, black with gold dust...

Thinking Jay's new song deserves the top of the billboard, while asking why David Tao's can't stay at the top for longer...

Working my ass off on GMAT. Telling my boss I am going to devote 120% effort for the bank.

Knowing the fact that I am running out of time for the GMAT preparation, I am still laying my eyes on "The Amercian next top model"...

Why do you "google" me?

Tell me, have you ever google him or her or yourself?

Simply heartwarming

Arriving early to the client appointment, I simply wanted an escape from the office. I was 15 mins early while my client was 30 mins late. How much time has I been waiting? (sounds like a GMAT quantitative question) The correct answer is 45 mins. Painless because I have all the reason on earth to do my favourite passtime - daydreaming. Shut down almost for the whole 45 mins, besides ordering my kiwi juice and tea.

At lunch, I was giving an exaggerating speech in front of my customers. At the corner of my eyes, I saw him from his back. I thought I have mistaken. His sms to me said I was correct.

Anyways, after waving good bye to my clients, I quickly ran to the meeting place, sat down and ordered myself a coffee. Within minutes, he was there sitting beside me. We started chatting about everything. Topics ranged from coffee without sugar, how much is my rent, fat girl vs smart fat girl, pastime, Singapore... Just half an hour coffee break, I felt like coming out from a therapy.

Well, nothing complicated, it was just a heartwarming coffee break.

The agenda

This is a record of the low tide of my "career". I could be laughing at this entry by next September.

I have been the golden boy. It's time for me to learn a lesson. To learn that I am too honest, too much of integrity. These are the basic values in life, but not necessary valuable in the living jungle. Too bad that I am not the kind of person who can sleep well after covering up lies with bigger lies.

From today on, no genuine smile will be found in the office (well, office ain't a place for genuine smile, if you need one, do it at home). Everything is a fake. Just as faking an orgasm as you are pay to spread your legs and to satisfy your customer. In exchange, it is money.

It is just 11 minutes. Everything will be alright afterwards.

At the dinner table tonight, everyone seems to have something to bitch about their job but me. I am just indifference. I have no feeling nor passion about my job. I am just faking it. I am just faking it for the money.

What is in a relationship?

Being single, I always think grass is greener on the other side. In fact, it might not be true. Girls who are married or attached have their sets of problem. Their problems could be much complicated and draining than mine as they involve another human being, which is one of the most complicated creature on earth. Well, this has been discussed over a hundred times in Sex and the City.

Hang loose and click to view a cross over clip of Sex and the City and Matrix from YouTube: When Carrie meets Neo...

when I still enjoyed swimming...

I haven't swam for a long time, a serious swim, I mean. Not even when I was in Singapore, where there is a nice pool at my condo. It was just too bored to swim alone. Too bored to swim without competition.

I used to be in the school team and my specialty is free-style. I could finish 50 meter in 36 seconds. That was history.

I seem to be motivated when competition exists. To prove that I could do better than the others, I am willing to put extra effort. Just as now, I am spending most of my time preparing my GMAT. It is a competition too. BTW, I got 590 this week. Getting better.

Well, now I know why I am dragging myself to work everyday without enthusiaum.

Tokidoki... a beginning of an obsession

I am not alone...

BBS in the past, internet forum, discussion group nowadays are one of the best creations of the century. People discuss about everything on the net. Anything that is of your interest, there is almost a discussion threat.

My hot topic of coures is GMAT. I am reading latest discussions every night before bed. From the forum, I learn others study strategies and plans. Then I adjust mine a bit accordingly. Peer influence is very important. Reading the discussion encourages me through the painful time (not that I am very hard working, yet I have also sacrefised my "The Apprentice" re-runs on TV)

Here is a quote which enlightened me: -

First and foremost, you have to keep reminding yourself that your GMAT score is a direct function of the time and effort you put into preparation. Sure, you need a fair amount of intelligence.

The more I studied, the more I became convinced of this simple fact -- your score is NOT an intelligence gauge, it is a reflection of how well you have prepared for this specific test, how good you've become at answering GMAT questions. It's quite a narrow study area, and it CAN be mastered.

If you don't already have an 800 score, realize that every hour of preparation will improve your ability to score high on the GMAT.

quoted from Testmagic.com

blur like sotong

I came across this on the net. Hilarious! It said Singlish is an economical lauguage by counting how many syllables you can save while speaking.

English / Singlish

Hello, here is my passport. / Nah.
Where do I go to collect my luggage? / Take bag go where, ah?
You mean chewing gum is prohibited in Singapore? / Gum cannot, meh?
What shall we have for dinner this evening? / Tonight eat what, ah?
I' m open to suggestions. / Anything also can.
Do you have a reservation? / You early-early call, not?
Yes, it's reserved under the name “Tan”. / My name 'Tan'!
This way to your table, please. / Come!
What would you recommend? / Here got what, ah?
Our speciality is fine European haute cuisine. / Ang mor makan, lor.
Would you recommend this dish? / This dish how, ah?
It's alright. / Can, lah.
The steak here is exceptional. / Here the steak is tok kong.
We also have a fine selection of pasta. / Also got mee.
Perhaps the fettucine or linguine? / Mee pok, mee kia, also got.
Would you care to sample our desserts? / You want lizard?
May I have the bill, please? / (mime signing cheque)
The prices here are rather steep. / Wah, here damn ex, man.
Next time, I'd rather eat at a hawker center. / Go hawker center also better!

Singish was what disgusted me first when I settled in the country. But, it was also what I carried away with when I left the country.

Sofia

I was reading an article about Sofia Coppola. She is referred as "the icon". I think she is cool.

Before, I knew her as the daughter of Francis Coppola. She directed movies like Virgin Suicide, Lost in Translation (one of my favourite movies under the "heavy" catagory) and recent Marie Antoinette.

Besides being a director (the first female nominee ever for Oscar best director), she is also a designer, a photographer and a "muse" (products inspired by her, e.g. Sofiamini). She is an "icon" who people follows. Whatever item picked by her, be it a handbag or a pair of panties, it will become the trend. What impressed me was this: "a New York girl who never boost about how many pairs of Manolo she has and insists to wear flats as she likes. She has such heck care attitude simply because she wore Chanel since 11"

lost and found

I went ballistic last night when I realised I have lost my belt. A little black belt. I got out of bed at 2:00am and started searching for it. It was not at the usual spot in my closet. Then I turned my store room upside down and still couldn't find it. After 15 mins search, I sat myself down and tried to think hard where it could be. But I couldn't figure out.

Then I walked into the store room again and saw the little belt hanging on the back of a chair. I found it. I went back to my bed and sleep.

By the way, during the search, I found the long lost treasury bag, which contains two bracelets and one necklace from Tiffany. They were lost for about a year and have been written off.

Talking about lost items, ask 5pf what happened to me when my phone went missing at my apartment. I am just feeling insecured.

550

An encouraging result from the 2nd mock test today. Of course, there is a long way to reach my target (a.k.a. the bottomline of Insead's admission). So, 不成功, 便成仁.

After the test, I was wondering alone at Citysuper for a bit. Checking out the stationaries which are nicely displayed at store for the new school year. I like the pencils!

I always want to share this with you (but have forgotten for a few times): -

David Blaine, the street magician. I can non-stop watching him to repeat the same tricks to different ppl on AXN for at least an hour. I like the way he approached his "audience". He goes "can I show you something?"...

Lock to be Free

Felina, my yoga instructor, said "Lock your joints, then you can move freely".
It sounds contradicting? But it is true.

Snap

Here are a few snapshots from our tour in Hua Lian last weekend.

Back to normal

Ming left for Hong Kong today and my life gets back to normal.

I am down with flu. Haven't been that sick for a long time. Must be due to lack of workout and too much unhealthy food.

Now, I have to put myself together and work hard. New management will be on board soon. A lot more of bull shit is needed to impress the new boss.

Paycheck

I got my paycheck today and I don't feel I deserved it.

Talking to a new found friend today about booking flight. I told her that I must seat at the aisle. The reason is, I have to be in total control of staying or leaving my seat anytime I like. I was not aware until I was on the way home today that the idea actually reflected my view of life.

In life, I feel such a strong urge to leave my "seat" and take a walk. To stretch my legs and get freshen up. My muscle crams; My brain is not working. I need new inspiration, new ideas, new motivation and new goal in life.

I wanted to unbuckle and step out so much, but there are too many constraints and ocncerns. I am working hard to settle the issues, then I am free. That day is not too far away.

Long time no see

Dear friends,

I haven't been updating my blog for a long time. There are few reasons.

I am working real hard with my GMAT. The mock test result was not satisfactory and I better put more effort in my revision. Sigh... may be I have ran out of luck in exams...

My test will be taken place in October 2nd (which I have postponed for 2 weeks by paying USD50).

I am spending as much time as I could with my lovely sister. She is my best buddy. She is going to return back to Mancester soon and I am not going to see her until next summer probably.

Forgive me for not writing as frequent. There are other priorities on hand right now.

20 years of experience VS one year experience repeated 20 times

I wanted to write on this topic for a long time. Weeks ago, I came across this idea from two unrelated people. It just inspired me to think about my career.

Sun Tan @ 福隆

Wonderful moment?
When I felt asleep under the sun umbrella, in the sea breeze.

Recently read and watched

After seeing mono's MSN space, I also want to make a list of recently read and watched as a record. So far this year I read: -

Eleven minutes - Paulo Coelho
Devil wears Prada - Lauren Weisberger
Freconomics - Steven Levitt
Meanwhile, Emotional Intelligence - Daniel P. Goleman

Other books lining up at my bed side

Working with Emotional Intelligence (as per MS' request)
Alchemist - Paulo Coelho (highly recommended by BH)
The World is Flat - Thomas Friedman

I should read more. Hope I can become more interesting as a result.

200th entry

Here is a picture of the flower I gave to a new found friend as birthday present.

Today, I spent total upto an hour at the florist to QC the arrangement. I appreciated the process as much as the result. Dealing with demanding customer like me, the florist business can barely make profit. So, I decide to own a florist only after I retired with plenty of money (instead of spending on the Latin dance instructor). Of course, I would hire specialists to do the flower arrangement. I could just stand by them, and give instruction without getting my hands dirty.

Time to go to bed. Dream on...

Dancing in the wind...

Beauty of nature - pink lotus, green leaves and blue sky. A day out at 植物園.

The most unromantic thought I have ever had

Prepare a "resume" for my first date with guys. Just list down my personalities and hobbies, my shoes and ring sizes, etc.

Well, such "unromantic" idea bears the same effect as speed dating, S.D.U., match making agent and match.com. This is a sign of desperation, a sign of realise the fact that I am getting old.

I found myself not "sophisticated" enough cos' there isn't much interesting for me to talk about. I guess, I could be considered as boring.

Wait, is simple the complexity?

天空

looking at the blue sky on my way home, I was daydreaming.
I wish I could touch the cloud, float on it or jump from one to another.

I am old

I was observing my GMAT classmates from the reflection of the mirror in the elevator. I found that they all look younger.

470

Hi, I started my GMAT class at Princeton Review. The score of my first "Diagnostic Test" is 470. Good to set a low base, so the improvement will be significant (yeah, this is called self comforting). Blame the late night til 3am before the test. I have to work harder towards my goal.

It was fun sitting in class again. The instructor looks like Mr. Monk, who wore a short sleeves checker shirt, high waist kahki and a pair of plastic slippers. He is from Cleveland and speaks heavy western American English.

I think I need to dig out the gramma books that I used in Form 1 and 2 (Green, Orange and Yellow). Revise the difference between present perfect and past perfect tense...

470, its a shame. Sigh...

Gain weight

Yeah, I lost my displine and gained weight. Thanks to the new addiction to Coke (original); occassional chips and Doritos; ice-cream/ popstick; 和牛; ceased yoga for 2 months; home cooked meals for the past 2 weeks.

Let's drink more water and tea starting tomorrow. Have vegetarian lunch starting Wednesday (cos' I have lunch commitments tomorrow and day after). Start yoga in August.

So I watched "the Lake house".

I still find it touching even if I knew the storyline and the ending. The script is more or less the same as the Korean version but a bit localised to the Chicago backdrop. Dreamy me enjoyed the movie a lot, even more than the Korean one, as it just met my expectation 101%.

Find part of the soundtrack here

White II

Can't wait to show off my long searched sneakers. special thanks to Jas.















Got myself a present, now I am motivated to go to work early and get ready for the battle!

Who cares!?

When I was on my way to work, I was thinking: There is only a few on this earth deserve the title of "true friend".

I was trashed at work today. Chemical in my brain was messed up which brought up some silly thoughts. I called my friend, being certain that she won't judge me no matter how silly I am (she has seen worse). I just need a confirmation from her. When I made the whining noise over the phone, both of us started laughing and the image of me hanging at her partition in the past (when we shared the same office) came up to both our mind.

Just a phone call away, her voice is just like my tranquillizer.

And I just found out she teared at the same movie trailer as I did, although we were thousands miles away.

I am looking forward to our true reunion in March 2008.

What's next?

New experiences and fresh challenges are a necessity for you. It's one of the many reasons why you're destined for true success. Be watchful -- a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity is about to come your way. -> This was my horoscope on 4th July.

iboss submitted her resignation on 3rd, and left by 5th. Now, I am all alone in the department. In the coming days, I have to represent the team, i.e. me, myself and I, in front of senior mgmt.

Meanwhile, I am hoping to have someone in front as my shield. Am I ready to take a step and stand on the stage alone? Preparation, preparation and preparation.

I should go for a big breakfast to start my day tomorrow. Yeah, I should do that.

I believe

I was so tempted to dial his number and find out if he is back in town. My conscious kept me from doing so.

I came across the horoscope love guide. It says, when pisceans encountered failure (or depression), they tend to look for satisfaction through art, e.g. drawing, music, literature or design etc. From there, they are able to reach spiritual peace.

... nodding head... That's why I am writing now.

I have to confess about my curiousity in dating a pisces. Talking to him, I seemed to see through his mind. I saw myself. Scary, isn't it?

Date with Drew

It is just like "the Alchemist", the hero in "A date with Drew", Brian demonstrated the guts of realizing a childhood dream. The movie is not really about Drew Barrymore, but the beauty of chasing after a dream. Yeah, everybody has their dreams, yet how many of them actually work on it? Its a bet, cos you would either win or lose. When one loses, would he/she be able to face it? That's why the "gut" counts!

I have a dream and am in the process to realisation. Yap, I am full of courage to make it true! As Brian said, it is a quest. Nothing is impossible, including dating your teenage idol crush!

The Lake House

Il mare, a Korean movie, is one of my all time favourites. The remake will be up soon. It's called "the Lake House" by Keanu Reeves and Sandra Bullock.

I have to confess that I was a fan of Keanu, since "My own private Idaho" (til Speed). Click here to play preview of "the Lake House". Listen to the sound track, it's Keane's "Somewhere only we know". I was touched.

Irresponsible

All irresponsibles are Losers!

Here are a few examples that I've encountered (and heard from others) just today: -

• refuses to take up tasks suppose to be done by him/ her.
• no credibility in his/her words, i.e. duckspeak -> saying things for the sake of saying it.
• leaving the job without a word to anyone.

Well, who to blame?

Hidden Camera

I screwed my "Talking off the cuff" training big time, simply because of the video camera. It makes me super nervous.

But I do think the bank should have set a camera today at my client's office. The reason is I think I have done a very good job today handling a threat. I rather stuck my neck out then being threatened. The senior management should witness how I have handled the situation today. Damn the video taken at the training.

I am happy about myself as my long gone fire at work is back for a moment.

a beautiful moment

I rarely post my picture on the blog, but I find it a beautiful moment to share.

White

Comtemporary art museum of Barcelona

An absolute contrast color to black. Not neccessarily carrying the opposite emotion. To me, white is quiet, fear and hollow; Indifference, uncertainty and helplessness.

Going to work is just like entering into a big white room which floor, wall and ceiling are painted in white.

I belong in London!?

I should belong in Paris! Why London?
I hate the fact that Fuigo got my ideal result. Wait a min, why is he doing the test anyway as it is just meant for women?

What city you belong in?

Keane

Only a few singers' new album that I am looking forward to listen to. Keane is one of them.

It was Megan who introduced Keane to me over a year ago. Since then, I have been listening to them. Dreamy-me just entered into the no man zone when i listen to their songs.

Keane's first album "Hopes and Fears" was released May 2004. Simply looking at the song titles, I can assure you, these are the songs besides James Blunt and Damian Rice that I play over and over again and have the melody and lyrics embraced me; Somewhere only we know, We might as well be strangers, Everybody is changing.

I was so excited to see the new released album and bought it without second thought. Come on, buying original CD is a big consideration these days.

The power of Softhard

返工手軟軟, 叫你OT 梗哎fankyou.
Wah, 我d活力都返口西來

My dear softhard... I support you forever. you are my source of energy!

No subject

just came back from a business dinner. it was tiring. I met upto 20 of my clients there. I am not very good at socialising in such function. Or on the surface I can handled it well, but not enjoyable at all. I felt a sense of insecurity in me. May be I felt like having someone for me to hide behind.

my buddy has left for his new assignment overseas today. bidding farewell to him on the phone briefly. Feeling empty. my best wishes to him!

A number of my cancerian friends are going to have their birthdays. I am not sure if I am going to greet each one of them. For some of them, I flet the friendship has just fallen apart. may be its out of sight out of mind. it is surely a test for real friendships. And with some of them, mistakes were made before my last visit. Sigh... may be I just have to learn the fact that I am living in this cruel reality.

Mumbai

I just can't wait to share with you the pictures taken from the capital of India.





















Before I went to Mumbai, I bought a bottle of 1.5 litre mineral water. I have heard enough stories about "food poisoning". Arriving at mid night, the street was surprisingly busy. There were people wandering on the street and homeless sleeping at the pedestrian path. We were brought to the Inter Continental by the sea which we spent the next two days for training.

Out of expectation, we got half day off. The three girls exchanged some rupee and headed out to "Gateway of India" for shopping. A little history on "Gateway of India"; it was built by George V to remember the port which the British first entered into the country. Further down the road, there are stalls lining up, selling clothes (those white indian style shirts selling at one tenth of Zara's price); bags with excellent embroideries and beads; shoes; accessories; shawes; antique and stationaries.

On the street, there were a lot of children beggers. Here is the story of my entercounter with one, a single eyed boy. He kept padding on my arm and said "Hello, I don't want your money. Just buy me milk. I want milk." I went on without looking at him as I knew I am softhearted. He kept on asking from one block to the next. At the third block, I started speaking Cantonese to him and hoped that he would give up. But he didn't. Finally, until the fifth block, I took out some chewing gum and placed it on his little palm. Then he disappeared. In the bottom of my heart, I hope he didn't swallow...

Late afternoon, we were walking along the seaside, I dropped my jaw when looking at the sunset. It could be as beautiful no matter how developed the country is. That's the power of nature.

Transit

Lucky that I am now in Changi Airport but not Mumbai Airport. I have to spend the next 2 hours, wandering around before the next flight. Extremely tired. Thanks to iboss, I am not entitled to use the business class lounge.

My impression of Mumbai is generally alright. May be I had expected worse. Lacking of sufficient preparation and not being able to collect myself from holiday mood, I was not doing extremely well in the training. No one to blame but myself. I was just over-confidence. Well, it is good to give myself a good bash and to realisation that there is a distance away from true success. Isn't it just make life more challenging and interesting?

I have to admit that shopping in Mumbai was good. Things are just cheap and nicely done.

Well, the "free internet" access is prompting me that the session will be ended in 3 mins. Let me close this by saying, "I feel much better to air out my frustration of not flying business class".

Sleepless nights

I thought I could survive the jetlag without a problem as I was able to sleep well on the first night returning from Europe. However, I was wild awake last night and the night before til sun rise.

A lot of things were in my mind.

I had a reflection on the friendship with my best male friend (yeah, a platonic relationship). I met him for dinner last night as he is going away for new work assignment soon. I don't know when would be the next time we meet.

Well, it might be the right time for me to step back and give ourselves sufficient space.

Fountainbleau

On the way to Insead, Ming asked "Are you nervous?". I said no. Instead, I felt hopeful and excited. It was a hot afternoon.

It seems to be the right place for me. A place filled with people from all sorts of background who are smart and fun. The way I see it is a "club med" cum business school. The cost is EUR70K and 10 months (including the opportunity cost of the time). And the benefit? A "stamp" of Insead on the forehead, big corporates "fighting" to hire you, plenty of new friends (from different locations), lots of partying, great deal of inspiration from peers, 10 months to live to France ("oh la la...") and chances for touring Europe. "What else to consider?", said the Insead students I met on the boat trip on River Seine.

Now, I am motivated to work on the application with full force. Study for GMAT, write application essays and save money.

Nothing is better than knowing a meaningful next step for myself. I am energised!

back to reality

Yeah, holiday is finished.

I have spent 2 days in St. Sebestian, 5 days in Barcelona, 2 days in Fountainbleau and 5 days in Paris. The trip was fulfilling, yet expensive. I was reminded once again why am I working so unwillingly in the current office. I am bartering my time and brain-cell for money.

Write more about each location in the next entries.

Out of office

Water will be out of office from 1/6 and returning on 23/6. Should you have any urgent matter, please do not even try to contact her.

For more update, please check Adventure of King Ming blog

I was having this complicated conversation yesterday evening. It involved both business and personal. After the brief business talk, I annouced the change of my identity from a bank officer back to a friend. The change didn't happen only on me, but him as well. From a serious businessman, he turned into a whining baby. He was complaining about the nitty gritty that he has to clear on his table before he flew for his hometown in few hours time.

Without eleboration, both Pisceans fell into a romantic illusion for a minute or so. One of us woke up and cut short the conversation.

Well, both Pisceans know it won't work. A distance should be kept between us to avoid any causalty.

Getting old...

I realised, when I get older, I am less insistence in certain aspects of life, e.g. going out with guys. I used to rely a lot on my gut feeling about guys, especially with whom are interested in me (well, could be platonic...!?). In the past, I would shy away if I don't have a strong feeling. I thought, why waste time anyways. But now, I learn to give myself a chance to find out more, hoping there could be pleasant surprise. (up til here, monolisa must be nodding her head while reading)

Well, so far, the result is within expectation, yet life is more "interesting" than being alone always. Life moves on if there is no chemistry and continues with the search in the "people sea".

Mystery solved

Spontaneous Steph once mentioned to get more Ziga Zaga homemade 地瓜片 on Satuaday night. Well, we all know this is not the real purpose.

Tonight, we went to the opening of Tcing Tcing (some bar opened by local celebs). Guest who I ran into at the bar - the real purpose of Ziga Zaga. Oh my god! Again, "Nearly all the best things that came to me in life have been unexpected, unplanned by me."

This was the first time to meet him outside his work place and out of his black fitted suit. He gave me this gentle stroke on my arm made me wonder if he is straight... or he is simply trying hard to be seductive... :p

Curiosity kills. But once the mysterious of a person is gone, it feels sour.

Mid Summer Night's Dream

Love me, love me not

The heavy base of the same old song was banging along my heart beat. I activated my build-in infrared detector and was searching for him. When our eyes met, I smiled. Yeah, it was one of those betrayal smiles.
Chats, laughters, smoke and free flow of champagne were brought along into my dream.
:
:
I stepped into the dimly lighted apartment. The table was set for dinner with candle lights. He was busy preparing our dinner. Simple pasta served with chilled white wine. The conversation was delightful.

A few thoughts to share before bed

- I had a nice talk with another pisceian over a brief lunch today. It was nice because through the conversation, I realised there is actually someone on this planet as dreamy and as sensitive as me. Interesting still, a male version of me

- Among friends, there are roles to play. Listener, head nodder, care taker, counselor and simply a talker (just talk don't listen). I am lucky to have one very good listener. May be its my turn to listen to someone who love to talk but have no patience to listen. Its all about give and take

- The bad thing about me (which I believe is inherited from Mom) is that if you have no patience to listen, then I would rather keep things to myself, period

- A long waited MSN conversation was taken place tonight. It was brief yet lightened my heart a lot. Well, sometimes, all we need is just to know the one over the other side is doing fine

- Da Vinci Code movie is okay. I will rate it 3.5 stars out of 5

- "Rainbow Connection" was playing in my ipod. The voice of Kermit reminds me of my dear listener

- Good night

Math

Today I took out the newly bought GMAT official guide and started working on the quantitative part of the "diagnostic test". It has been 8 years since I last solved a math question.

I felt like an idiot as I scratched my head and couldn't figure out the answer.

I hope "practice makes perfect" is true.

Left work at six sharp

I felt uneasy since I got the phone call from monolisa at noon. She ended by saying "you better be prepared for its coming". The message she brought was haunting me for the whole afternoon. Time passed slowly and finally it was six. I couldn't wait to pack my bag and leave the office.
:
:
Last night, I was offered two alternatives. He would decide his next stop according to my choice, Macau or Malaysia. Well, this is just a joke. Am I that influential to make such important decision? Okay, let's say if I could really make the call, where would I chose? I would chose the third place, by my side.

iboss II

Yes, it is a waste of time to talk about her. So, please just ignore this entry if you agree.

She is trying hard to pick on me and so she found the chance when approving my expenses. Here are her comments: -

Phone Bill (less than TWD3000 each month) -> Please make sure to identify each phone call (on the phone bill) next time; Try to use "fixed line", it is cheaper.

Cab fare (less than TWD2500 each month) -> Please try to best utilized our department car. Try to use the time slot when the car is free to visit clients.

Lunch bill -> Make sure the money is well spent on client with good business potential and deals monitization.

Okay, in another words, I should sit there and do minimal marketing for cost control sake. Minimal entertainments, minimal meetings and minimal phone calls. Well, sounds familar. Isn't that just exactly described the person sitting next to me, i.e. iboss?

This kind of bullshit comes once every month (u know why) and the underlying reason is very simple - She hates me, period.

Mosquito

i killed a mosquito with my pointing finger and thumb while it was sucking my blood. Would the "needle" be broken and stuck in my skin, or would it flow along with my blood circulation in my body?

Posing or roller coasting

Thought we were living "Sex & the City".

Thursday night, Steph and I met up at Joyce East after work for a drink and shoes posing. It ended up to be a light dinner with dessert and coffee. It was my fault.

I was starving upon arrival, so I asked for some finger food to bite on along with our champagne. Unexpectedly, a delightful antipasto platter was presented. There were smoke salmon with fish roe on egg cake; olives; pate de foie gras on crispy toast; beef cappaccio wrapped around roman lettuce and parma ham on figs. Of course, dessert followed ~ a crispy apple pie with ginger ice cream.

Over the delicious antipasto and peach almond champagne, the two girls were bitching about work, life and relationship. Both long for a roller coaster ride but keep holding back. We are up for the thrill, yet acknowledging the fact that we are unable to take the foreseeable consequences.

Just as we got hurt when putting our fingers to the fire, we learn from experiences and stop ourselves from repeating mistakes. Isn't it painful to hold yourself from chasing after your desire? Okay, again, it is a philosophical discussion.

Ladies Night

It could be a random offer, an offer to passerby of the hotel lobby (I said that hotel is haunted)

No one cares whether I took the offer or not, but me. Simply because I am the only one thinks it is important and it is important to me only.

Put away the phone and start the GMAT exercise.
Spending a quiet night at home is safer.

Want a good cry?

Watch 藍色生死戀.
Even I accidentally came across half an episode on TV, I was tearing. 好慘... sob sob sob ~

Hollowness

The gap has to be filled. It could be a chain of smoke, a repeated sad song, a sms message, a voice from the other side of the phone, a weblog or a company of irrelevant people.

Have the emptiness filled and then move on.

The End

... to my crush. It is official.

The one who woke me up is someone I bearly know, not even her name. Well, let's call it fate. It is good to put an end to the episode.

I am going to bed now.

My Sunday...

I am seriously stressed out from work. To be exact, it is stress of hating my work. Like everyone, I enjoyed the long waited labour day weekend. Last night, I was up til 5:30am surfing net, making reservation for our Barcelona accomodation.

This morning, Delia, my maid, has done an excellent job in taking care of my housework, so that I could enjoy my weekend without worrying about changing my bed sheet and doing my laundry.

In the afternoon, I met Jasmine for tea. Nice chat at Spot over coffee and marble cheese cake (mostly consumed by me), and followed by some browsing of DVDs and books at Eslite @ Spot Taipei.

After tea, I went to Shin Yi for suit and travel book hunting for over two hours. It was pressure free as I was wondering on my own. Of course, I didn't leave empty handed.

Steph called for a drink. Taipei was strangely quiet on a long weekend Sunday. We first went to Champagne III which turned out to be empty. Then Mint, it was empty as well. We had our last try at Room 18, although it was empty, we decided to stay for a drink and then moved on to In-house for another round. While wondering where all the cute Taipei guys have gone, we were checking out the transvestite waiter/ress, thinking "she" is twice feminine than the two of us added together.

What a fulfilling and enjoyable day!

An unplanned encounter...

I don't know how exactly it happened.

The moment when he came into my sight, everything turned into slow motion for 2 seconds. One, Two. Even the voice beside me went slow.

This shouldn't happen to a 29 years old.

No matter how I "cool" sounded, my sunshine smile had betrayed me. Although the brief conversation only lasted 1.5 min, it was the best moment I have had through out the past 30 days.

It was just an illusion, I told myself.

History taught me that it is better to walk away with good memories.

I'd like to close this episode with two quotations from Carls Sandburg which were once quoted in my blog on 7th Dec, 05

"Nearly all the best things that came to me in life have been unexpected, unplanned by me."

"The secret of happiness is to admire without desiring."

Hi Doctor

"Please take a seat. How do we feel today?" doctor said
"Well, I am feeling okay actually. I am here because I don't feel like sleeping at night and don't feel like waking up in the morning. Is there something wrong with me, doctor?" I asked.
"What keeps you from going to bed?"
"Reading, net surfing, replaying DVDs... mostly sex and the city episodes, MSN-ing, blogging and eating occassionally" I went as I was running through my list of night time rituals.
"And what time do you wake up?"
"Usually I wake up without alarm. At nine." I answered shamelessly.
"On a work day even!?" Doctor was amazed.
"Yeah. Well, actually, the alarm was snoozed for so many times that it stopped ringing."
Doctor was busy scribling prescription and then said "Don't worry girl. This is not abnormal. You just hate your job and is trying to stretch your leisure time as long as possible. Take this and get your medication at the counter outside."

At the counter, I got a pack of Mile Seven menthol light and a white coffee mug.

Carpe Diem... continue

What is life? A philosophical question.

Life is about compromising. Man has unlimited wants with limited resources. Therefore we have to make choice. The opportunity cost would be the best alternative to what has been chosen. This is economics.

Life is about happiness. My lovely family is happy, then I am happy. Even if I have to forgo my dream?

Numb, emotionally unresponsive, indifferent
You are hopeless on matters or people, til you become indifference

Hopelessness
definition : the despair you feel when you have abandoned hope of comfort or success

You once have hope, but no longer do.
What was my hope?

Repeat and Repeat... Part III

almost 75 times since 3 days ago.

手望(守望版) Featuring 張敬軒

落葉上要寫字　願望是讓眼睛只看到善意
我要我的天使同情我廝守一輩子
花不開也看成奇蹟　枯乾的世界漫延
不要問我那故事難過極了

寂寞夜裡出現　是為著讓曙光消散了便算(我看到你)
我已害怕光線　停留漆黑中等變酸(沒法一起)
天多灰也當是藍色　深居於新生樂園
軀殼在這個世上零度裡探賞(新生的你)

途中花瓣結霜　連手心都凍傷(如果雙手覺得快凍傷)
又再妄想　連呼吸都灼傷　
求天賜我膽量(求天令你堅強)
若意識裡沒法看穿這個下場(請相信我這下場)
期望你空中拖著我歌唱(其實我拖著你)
手捉不到　在透明異國共舞

寂寞夜裡出現　是為著讓曙光消散了便算
我也害怕光線　你不需一個變酸
星星粉碎了留痕跡　一早知願望樹絕情不要亂碰　
那次傷口太深　越痛V要分心(望見你不開心　越痛越要分心)

只可惜當回憶統統結霜　連真心都凍傷(如果真心覺得快凍傷)
就怪我的求生聲音太響　難擁你到天上(你不要跟我走　你要學會堅強)
若有天你望見世間我已著涼(不想親眼看你著涼)
原諒我不小心或太緊張(不准傷心或太緊張)

屈膝禱告　為我們下世預告來生比你走得早　
好想你擁抱(想抱)
落葉上再寫字　願望是共你於天國裡遇見
昨日未了的事　靜靜讓你知(靜靜讓我知)

Its simple to be HAPPY

One, Two, Three, Cheers!

Politics & Women in Office

Don't expect any brilliant comments on the subject after few glasses of wine and plenty of BS at a bar near to my apartment.

let's leave it for the next entries.

Duh... the end!

I have my isolating moments. An isolation of myself from the crowd.


I took a step back and looked at my four companion at the dining table giggling, trying to figure out how my Dopod worked under the table for at least 15 mins. Without eleborating on how it worked out, the message was sent.

In exchange, we got a bottle of complimentary Moet Chandon Rose and a pat on my head.










I am grateful having my friends to share the moments with me.

Gosh, my right eye ball inflated like a balloon but the pupil. So, it looked like a black button pressed on a ballon. You don't want to see it, I bet.

On the other hand, it is a signal that my body is not functioning well.

Duh!

Special thanks to all the friends to be dragged to Ziga Zaga this weekend. Some of them aware and some of them don't.

Couldn't wait longer to pick out my phone, I started SMSing to make reservation for Saturday night. Out of expectation, instead of a "yes, it's done" SMS, a real voice reply came after an hour.

Little chat... nothing special... the conversation ended with a delightful note: looking forward to seeing you on Saturday. Yeah~ firework went at the background...

Monologue: Gal, isn't it normal to get that remark at the end of all phone call reservations at restaurants? Duh, perfectly. Don't think too much. Just enjoy the evening!

Love ain't slavery

Do you remember?

I can do it, only if I am given a chance.
Now, there is one in front of me.

Do I have to repeat to myself what needs to be done?

This round, if I failed, there is no one to blame but myself.

26 degree

I was not sleeping well last night. It was too warm.
And I refused to turn on the air con.
It is April, not July.
April is just not "summer" enough to turn on the air con.

a dose of legal drug...

"Yes, I love you very much, as I have never loved another man, and that is precisely why I am leaving, because, if I stayed, the dream would become reality, the desire to possess, to want your life to be mine... in short, all the things that transform love into slavery.

It's best left like this - a dream."

Quoted from Eleven minutes - Paulo Coelho

I am still in search for an ideal relationship and I agree love shouldn't be transformed to slavery. Don't try to change man. Love him for who he is.

A word a day

Infatuation

in·fat·u·a·tion ( P ) Pronunciation Key (-fch-shn)n.
A foolish, unreasoning, or extravagant passion or attraction.
An object of extravagant, short-lived passion.

Listen to The Blower's Daughter by Damien Rice

the pupil in denial

Sleepwalking

the alarm rang from 8:00am until 8:45am. Snooze after snooze, there was still no movement.

9:00am. the body moved itself to the bathroom for the morning ritual. In the mirror, the girl looked decent to leave the flat.

9:20am. I arrived office. Said good morning to the air and kicked start my work day. I turned on Lotus Notes, read the unread messages. I preferred to click those non work related emails.

10:00am. Meeting. 11:00am. Another meeting. I talked.

Through out the day, I heard conversation within.

26

Iboss

TGIF. It was a tough work week.

My Iboss turned into a total bitch this week. We had an intensive discussion in the team meeting with the presence of other two. She refused to listen and repeated the same accusation on me. After explaining it nicely for two times and the third time, I raised my voice.

That's me.

note : click here to find definition of Iboss

Planning for Europe Trip

A new blog is started for my Europe Trip in May 2006. My travelling partner, Ms. Ming will be one of the contributors too. We will record the whole planning process and diarise the actual tour. Pictures will be shared afterwards.

It is a small project that I am going to focus on at the moment... Cool!

http://king-ming.blogspot.com/

Friday home

Just want a quiet Friday night. So, I politely refused a few parties and cooked at home.
I am conscious about my choice of staying home for a quiet evening. Simply enjoyable!

talk too few... or not

I am confused, like most of the youngsters I met.

I was told "hey, be yourself and talk more."; "don't be so quiet, guys would not know your true personality".

I was told "probably you talk too much, that's why you turn guys off..."

Should I or should I not... talk?

Read Read Read!!!

Less internet (down to 1.5 hr per day), more reading. I can't become an illiterate...

Disoriented

adj 1: having lost your bearings; confused as to time or place or personal identity

I have experienced a moment of disorientation. I opened my eyes, the sky was dim. According to the clock, it was 5:00. Was it a.m. or p.m.?

Innocent

Remember how we met new friends at playground when we were young? The friendship was innocent and simple. This afternoon, I met two at Daan Park.

Are you ready for the roller coaster?

"... I stood for a long time by the roller coaster, and I noticed that most people get on it in search of excitement, but that once it starts, they are terrified and want the cars to stop.

What do they expect? Having chosen adventure, shouldn't they be prepared to go the whole way? Or do they think that the intelligent thing to do would be to avoid the ups and downs and spend all their time on a carousel, going round and round on the spot?"

Quote from Eleven Minutes ~ Paulo Coelho

Turning our backs to paparazzi

moments...

yeah, most of the time, people do not like to listen to the truth, especially sad truth. however, only the truth would wake you up from dreams; as if someone is tapping on your shouder while you are sleepwalking.

I have been through some emotion ups and downs these weeks. May be I need another holiday to recover or a spa session. Well, no more nonsense. Its time to wake up and gather myself.

It is time to get serious about finding the answer to the question: "What do I want?"

This blog entry is written specially for one person to read -> me.

...

over MSN messenger, here is an extract of our conversation:

A : I prefer honest / straight forward guy than a hypocrite
B : Yah, I am always honest and straight forward unless I want to sleep with you

Post birthday activity

Two unexpected invitations received on Friday and Saturday evening. Thanks to Sherry and Stephanie. They were like refreshers to my fuzzy week. Meeting different people solidfied my experience in Taipei.

Here is a picture of my very own sashimi dish at Mitsui Restaurant, Oishi~:

Quotation

It might not be a bad idea to share this. From the bottom of my heart...

My apologies, guys!

I hate horror movies.

If you know you would be scared, why would you sit in and watch (Japanses ones are worse) ? Just for the thrill of it? What about the countless nightmares and the insecurity came afterwards?

You know what is worst? Being dragged into the cinema and forced to watch a horror by daring ones. In this situation, I would come up with a thousand and one excuses not to go.

I realised I have done something as irritating, unintentionally. Here, I apologise.

... wanting part of her... and not all of her

Ray: Just so you know. I'm sorry for the way I treated you.
Mirabelle: I know.
Ray: I did love you.
Mirabelle: All right.

Narrator: As Ray Porter watched his Mirabelle walk away… he feels a loss. How is it possible.. - he thinks.
..to miss a woman whom he kept at a distance..
..so that when she was gone..
..he would not miss her.
Only then did he realise how wanting part of her..
..and not all of her..
..had hurt them both..
..and how he cannot justify his actions..
..except that..
..well..
..it was life.

Quote from Movie Shopgirl (2005)