It has been 75 hours since I last heard from hun. I am trying to stay calm, yet can't stop thinking of him.

I have lost touch with Hun for almost 40 hours. Wondering how's thing with him...

Hun's missing. So, I didn't turn off my phone awaiting for his SMSs.
Instead, I caught an urgent message from client and helped the case.

So, that meant to happen.

Finally, I have got 2 of my wisdom teeth extracted today. That hour on the dentist chair felt like forever. I must say dentist is skillful, particular extracting the second one. It only took her less than 1 minute to finish the job. And the wound is not painful at all.

At least, this is a big achievement of me in 2010. Can't remember how long I have been avoiding this task.

I am enjoying my home holiday... i.e. no travel, just stay home for days workfree.

I workout, yoga, pedi, mani, lashes and brows... see Chinese Dr., massages, read books, download MP3, watch Modern Family non-stop, go to bed early after glasses of wine, hum Frank Sinatra Christmas songs while shopping at EA among all the comrades...

And I am thinking of someone...

Love flows... never over

In a split second, I had a soft hearted moment.

As long as there is still love...

your words were running towards me like knives. you wouldn't imagine how much it hurts, both me and the relationship. yes, you have won the battle but you have destroyed what we have built together in the last 15 months.

I am letting go.

Counting down to our weekend. Just 24 hours to go...

I was sitting by the window, talking about our feelings to each other with open hearts. Reminded me of 365 ago...

I should appreciate all the care he has put into the details we have gone through today.

I feel unloved and unimportant. For you, seeing me becomes a routine. You won't bother to put extra thoughts into how to spend time with me anymore. I am just someone to fit in your schedule, particularly at the non-peak and in betweens. I am someone who received a last minute call to fill the 2 hours gap between you awake from a late night out and your weekly run. What "quality time" could we have. Have you thought about my feelings and needs as your girlfriend? I think you have, but you ignore it as you think I do not have a choice but to comply. That is pathetic.

I always have a choice. In the past, I chose to accomodate because of the love between us. I have been striving to be motivated in this relationship. Now, I just feel unloved and unimportant. I am not trusting your love anymore. I don't feel the care and respect. I am running out of strength to love.

I am letting go.

Not angry but sad.
Sad about helplessness, sad about being rejected, sad about love fading.

My feeling is hurt. Still hurts.
I thought we could spend a weekend together uninterrupted. One last weekend we are going to share all by ourselves in 2010.

My feeling is hurt, because you see no importance in it, in us, in me.