It has been 75 hours since I last heard from hun. I am trying to stay calm, yet can't stop thinking of him.

I have lost touch with Hun for almost 40 hours. Wondering how's thing with him...

Hun's missing. So, I didn't turn off my phone awaiting for his SMSs.
Instead, I caught an urgent message from client and helped the case.

So, that meant to happen.

Finally, I have got 2 of my wisdom teeth extracted today. That hour on the dentist chair felt like forever. I must say dentist is skillful, particular extracting the second one. It only took her less than 1 minute to finish the job. And the wound is not painful at all.

At least, this is a big achievement of me in 2010. Can't remember how long I have been avoiding this task.

I am enjoying my home holiday... i.e. no travel, just stay home for days workfree.

I workout, yoga, pedi, mani, lashes and brows... see Chinese Dr., massages, read books, download MP3, watch Modern Family non-stop, go to bed early after glasses of wine, hum Frank Sinatra Christmas songs while shopping at EA among all the comrades...

And I am thinking of someone...

Love flows... never over

In a split second, I had a soft hearted moment.

As long as there is still love...

your words were running towards me like knives. you wouldn't imagine how much it hurts, both me and the relationship. yes, you have won the battle but you have destroyed what we have built together in the last 15 months.

I am letting go.

Counting down to our weekend. Just 24 hours to go...

I was sitting by the window, talking about our feelings to each other with open hearts. Reminded me of 365 ago...

I should appreciate all the care he has put into the details we have gone through today.

I feel unloved and unimportant. For you, seeing me becomes a routine. You won't bother to put extra thoughts into how to spend time with me anymore. I am just someone to fit in your schedule, particularly at the non-peak and in betweens. I am someone who received a last minute call to fill the 2 hours gap between you awake from a late night out and your weekly run. What "quality time" could we have. Have you thought about my feelings and needs as your girlfriend? I think you have, but you ignore it as you think I do not have a choice but to comply. That is pathetic.

I always have a choice. In the past, I chose to accomodate because of the love between us. I have been striving to be motivated in this relationship. Now, I just feel unloved and unimportant. I am not trusting your love anymore. I don't feel the care and respect. I am running out of strength to love.

I am letting go.

Not angry but sad.
Sad about helplessness, sad about being rejected, sad about love fading.

My feeling is hurt. Still hurts.
I thought we could spend a weekend together uninterrupted. One last weekend we are going to share all by ourselves in 2010.

My feeling is hurt, because you see no importance in it, in us, in me.

to Ricky, another pieces

sifu, its time to release your creativity. start a blog and you will find the sky outside of sky...

I found work really painful...
Don't feel good about it at all.

原來孤單, 心痛, 無奈, 失落, 悲傷 是我的謬司.

我的心時重, 時輕,
重是因為一手經營的信任被破壞, 不知要多久才能修補過來.
重是因為我想牽着你看月光, 可是信心不大.
輕是因為我打算給你所有的時間去消化和沉澱, 我也該想一想.
輕是因為你曾告訴我只要大題目不變, 其它只是小問題.

May be I need this kick to be conscious in soul searching.
Who am I? What I like and dislike? What do I care most, what not?

我的失言傷害了我最珍惜的人, 說了的收不回.
現在唯有用時間去撫平這傷害.

一個想法, 一句說話像刀一般鋒利, 割破了我們建立好久的信任.
我很希望被原諒, 被包容. 我想已沒有什麽補救方法了.

接下來的日子將會很難過...
希望陰天快過, 天晴再來臨.

Somewhere only we know

Continued with our 1st anniversary celebration, hun and I spent the weekend together. Can't hug and kiss enough of him.

Friday evening, we had take away from Yixin with red wine. After dinner, we watched Bella, a light weight drama.

On Satuarday, there were quite some goals to fulfill with hun... Wine shopping, food shopping, Siu Mai, pork chop, dvd, Frappe, Japanese dinner... It was fun to get all these done with hun.

On Sunday, we met for lunch at Sheung Wan and guess what, we cabbed back home for Hun's emergency... hahah... watched a little bit of TV, then we moved on to Domani to have our ice coffee and smoke. That concluded our wonderful chill out on Sunday.

It is a blessing to have hun by my side for one autumn, winter, spring and summer.

Never enough

"We met here exactly one year ago..." Hun told Mr. Duwao, our driver. To be exact, I would replace "met" with "found each other".

Through out the 4 days 3 nights, there were full of enjoyable moments with giggles and kisses. Among the familar, we have had some brand new advantures, like the day excursion to Khai Island, meals at stall nearby, Seahag and Silk, trip to Patong, suntanning together at pool side (yes, this counts as well), Spa at Banyan Tree, watching soccer games at local store with driver and the encounters of Mr. Yappie from Singapore.

If I have to chose the best moment among all, I would say it is hugging Hun at the terrace sofa watching the rain together in the afternoon. And that's the biggest anniversary present.

A lot more experience will be shared between us down the path...

Sunday @ Twinpalms

morning run, buffet breakfast, all you can drink brewed coffee, fruit juice, sun tanning at poolside with hun next to me...

follow by a 150 mins spa session at Banyan Tree and cocktail.

there is nothing else I'd like to ask for.

螄蚶 cockles
ข้าด - kaao pat 炒飯
ผัดไทย - pad thai 泰式炒粿條
ทอดมันกุ้ง - tod mun goong 炸蝦餅
ผัดคะน้าปลาเค็ม - pat ka naa bplaa kem 鹹魚炒芥藍菜
ไก่ห่อใบเตย - gai hor bai dtoie 香蘭葉包雞
หมูย่าง - Koh Moo Yang 炭燒豬頸肉
ไก่ย่าง - gai yaang 泰式烤雞
ส้มตำ - som dtam 青木瓜沙拉
ยำเนื้อย่าง - yum nuer yang 涼拌烤牛肉
กุ้งแช่น้ำปลา - goong chae nam bplaa 魚露生蝦
แกงเขียวหวาน - gaeng kieow waan 綠咖哩
แกงกะหรี่ไก่ - gang gari 黃咖哩
แกงเผ็ด - gaeng pet 紅咖哩
以上三種咖哩的字尾，自行加上喜歡的肉類 (เนื้อ neua 牛，ไก่ gai 雞，หมู moo 豬)
(1) sen yai (rice river noodles) – this is a wide flat noodle made from white rice flour
(2) sen mee (rice vermicelli) – a small wiry looking rice flour noodle
(3) sen lek (jantaboon noodles) – a medium flat rice flour noodle
(4) ba mee – an egg and wheat flour noodle
(5) wun sen (cellophane noodle) – a very thin, very wiry, translucent soya bean flour noodle
ก๋วยเตี๋ยว guay-dtieow Noodles
เส้นใหญ่ sen yai Flat Noodle wide about 2-3 cms.
เส้นเล็ก sen lek Flat Noodle wide about 4-5 mms.
เส้นหมี่ sen mee Flat Noodle wide about 1-2 mms.
บะหมี่ ba-mee Egg Noodle
เกี๊ยว gieow Wonton
ลูกชิ้น look chin Meat Ball
แห้ง haeng Dry (no soup)
น้ำ naam with Soup

naam chaa tea
chaa yen ice tea
Some recognized brands of pre mixed tea: ชาตรามือ (Cha Dtra Meu), ชาเทพพนม (Cha Thep Phanom).

Can't help to blog about the wonderful time we've spent...

Just another simple evening at home, we chatted over cava for a while before our appetizer - 3 fine de claires and 1 cherry stone each. Then hun started preparing our dinner. Steak cube and veggie in soup. The bottle of cava finished before we even started our main.

We have then opened a Le Petit Cheval 1999 for the rest of the evening. After dinner we had ice cream and watched Ip Man 2 on DVD.

Time flies. There goes a wonderful evening with hun. Friday night is always the best and most looked forward to...

The goodbye kisses were extra sweet.

First time seeing Hun left for work from home. Still lying in bed, I got goodbye kisses from my well groomed hun before he left for work.

Carpi Diem

Enjoy the moment, don't bother asking what's next.

Not sure what went wrong. Will find out...
Hope there is an answer.

My patience and faith is being tested.
All I expect me to be calm and stay in peace.

Movie

It was a relaxing Sunday afternoon. Met Hun for lunch at IFC followed by Toy Story 3 (3D version). It has been almost 9 months since I last went movie at cinema. The experience today was good.

Today, I had a date with little Mr. Chatterbox. Haven't seen this little Mr. for a while. I enjoyed being with him very much... he is cheerful, charming and funny.

I enjoyed that one kiss between isles at super-market and the holding hands swinging arms.

Smilies...

I have an enjoyable evening tonight. Chatting all the way through dinner and 2 drinks to follow... I would say without doubt, I like hun very much as a lover and as a very good friend...

I realised, it's all about up there in my head.
I am learning to relax, be patient and take it easy. Everybody would be happier this way.
With the power of love, I am willing to put all my effort to learn.

I am getting to know myself better...

In a split second, I remembered me, being alone in my Taipei apartment, eating Taiwanese Tempora... Ah Long Tempora...

World Cup Quater Final - Germany Won Argentina 4:0

Can't explain why... Just that I feel calm lately...

Happy Weekend

This is the nth + 1 time, i quoted this "Nearly all the best things that came to me in life have been unexpected, unplanned by me."

It was a truely happy weekend with Hun. Simple, but happy.

Happy for myself for being light hearted today.

I am testing my patience. I am learning to be patient.

I have spent a quiet and relaxing Tuen Ng Festival afternoon with Hun.

D said, a companion that one feels comfortable with is what matter...
Look at the big picture

Handle with care. Relax and see how it goes...
Relax...

i bought myself a black coffee at Star Bucks and let myself think.

Sitting there under the hot sun at 4:30pm, I watched pedestrian and cars passing by. Not only I was thinking, I gathered my thought and wrote them down.

I stopped at 5:30pm and woke up from my day dreaming session. Back to reality, I moved on with the daily life.

SATC II

I feel a lot better when I get to know Mr. Big is also eating take away, sitting in the coach watching TV with Carrie by his side without talking...

I was reading some old emails from Hun and was reminded back in the very beginning we were together, we could't have enough time for each other. He even mentioned he didn't mind seeing his other half everyday. And said even if changed, we have just moved to another level.

I guess this is the time that we are in "another level".

meditation

I have found my meditation spot at lunch near office. that's the high chair of Pacific Coffee at Citibank tower. It was an enjoyable sit of 1 whole hour, watching people, thinking, reflecting and watching people. I was sitting there comfortably til a couple occupied seats next to me.

Of course, the good thing about this spot is I can light my ciggie before and after the meditation...

Searching

... ...

Stop the negativity.

Things will work out fine.

Take a deep breathe
Everything is gonna be alright!

關於相處和經歷...

那天你跟我分享的点滴, 我有所意會,
我願意投入耐心, 時間, 還有愛...

禮物

你牽着我的手, 帶我遊羅馬。
雖然只有短短三小時,
這是一份令我感動又滿足的禮物。

名牌手袋算什麽？

今個禮拜無驚無險
有点累, 但總括還是開心的!

Inhale, exhale...
Staying calm is the key!

坦白說, 真的不知道這樣的日子還要捱多久. 或者是可以捱多久.
眼見情况一天比一天差, 沿途的花越來越少, 換來是一堆堆涸黄的雜草,
我的笑容也越來越少.

body temperature at 38.3c

Inhale, exhale...
Inhale, exhale...

Winning a war, nevermind lossing a battle

body temperature at 38.8c

I learnt, I changed, I practiced.

I am thankful.

I believe

Men are like rubber bands.

Indulging myself...
As if I am pouring 48 Rocher into my stomach at one go.

Go wild.

Lysander:
Ay me! for aught that I could ever read,
Could ever hear by tale or history,
The course of true love never did run smooth;
But either it was different in blood—

Mid Summer Night's Dream by Shakespeare

all I hear is just echo of my voice

I’ll Forget, I’ll love, I’ll live, I’ll trust and I’ll forgive, My love will never go away, This is all I have to give.

The rock that blocked my way is heavy and I knew it. It took all my courage and strength to lift it up to the top of the hill. When I reached the peak, I know I am free to move on with my way forward.

be a farmer

one day, may be I quit being a hunter.

One would not have enough of such clear blue sky. I was trying hard to remember the colour in order to recall while stuck at the office desk.

The Show - Lenka

I'm just a little bit caught in the middle
Life is a maze and love is a riddle
I don't know where to go, can't do it alone
I've tried and I don't know why

I'm just a little girl lost in the moment
I'm so scared but I don't show it
I can't figure it out, it's bringing me down
I know I've got to let it go and just enjoy the show
Just enjoy the show, just enjoy the show

A handsome kissed my lips at lunch today!

Inspired by Julia, I am now into wearing pearls.

Julie and Julia

first of all, I love the tone and the rhythm of the movie. Like Sleepless in Seattle and You've got mail, it's about connection of strangers through mediums, letters, emails, phone calls, even books and blog. It is just an enchanting movie!

blog via my new toy...

It's a box of assorted dark chocolate - bittersweet. That's what I always love.
Every single one gives me different feeling. Some of them are sophisticated; some are fun; some are bitter; some have layers; some are too sweet and some are just not my cup of tea.

I am gonna enjoy each of them with my heart and love. No rush, just enjoy!

Cefalu

My word for Cefalu is tranquility. In between the peaceful little lanes, locals live in harmony with visitors from all walks of life. The beautiful rhythm of the sea and the welcoming breeze draw wanderers to linger awhile.

Life could be this simple. Drive your gal on a scooter to the beach. Just dance and laugh til sunset. Or walk to the seashore with your honey, open a bottle of nice red wine, sit shoulder to shoulder on the step, make silly jokes about those dancing at the beach and enjoy all the way til dinner time.

Hotels

Syracuse (with small town Ortigia)

* One Hotel (net 94, with B) nice pix and good review from tripadvisor #10 hotel

15 mins walk to town and 5 mins to the shore (not exactly downtown)

Albartros Hotel (for ref. net 85 with B) decent hotel but 30 mins walk to town. tripadvisor #11

Lakkios Residence B&B (net 78 with B) nice B&B, in front of the sea, convenient to sightseeing. Tripadvisor #10 B&B

* @ Ortigia - Aretusa Vacanze (net 78 net with B) nice B&B. at the tip of Ortigia a fish village. Good review from tripadvisor #2 B&B in Syracuse

@ Ortigia - B&B Il Cortiletto (net 75 with B) nice B&B, sea view. tripadvisor #26

Catania (14th Apr)
Found a no. of hotels/ B&B.

EUR50 - 75 (25 -30 min walks to central train st.)
Catania Cristal Park (58 net with B) #14 in Catania
Casa Barbero Charme B&B (75 net) - checking for availability. Nice little B&B. #7 in Catania

* Good bargain/ location - De Curtis B&B (53.5net) decent review #18 in Catania (5mins walk to central train st.)

EUR90 - 100 (2 - 5 mins walk to central train st.)
Rigel Hotel (85 net with B) # 13 in Catania

Hotel La Ville (90 net) #15 in Catania
Hotel Villa Romeo (100 net with B) Trip advisor #6 in Catania

Best West Hotel Mediterraneo (119 net) Trip advisor #4

Agrigento -

Colleverde Park Hotel - walking distance to the temple, nearby to bus-stop. EUR104 with BF
trip advisor #3 hotel in Agrigento

Taormina – there are many seaside hotels with great view charging EUR200-300 per night

Hotel Isabella (90 net with B)– ranked #28. Central location, more city/ no seaview

**Panoramic Hotel (150 net with B) – ranked #5. Very nice hotel. Terrific seaview. Cable car access to town. Very good review.

* Hotel Bel Soggiorno (100 net with B) – ranked # 16. Incredible Sea view / Mt Enta view. 10 mins walk from town

Parc Hotel Ariston & Palazzo Santa Caterina (100 net with B) – ranked #43. abt 5 mins walk from town. Room is so so. Also sea view.

Hotel Taodomus – (109 net with B) ranked #6 Seaview. Easy access to City. Room is so so.

* means I favour~

Booked

2nd Apr - Milan
Milan Marriott Hotel - Via Washington, 66 Milan, 20146 Italy
+39-02-48521

3rd - 6th Apr - Palermo
Hotel Principe di Villafranca - Via G. Turrisi Colonna 4, 90141 Palermo
+39-091-6118523

15th Apr - Rome

Favourite Links for Sicily

Frommer's itinery planning suggestion

Confirmed!!

It's a milestone for us.
And it is going to be a good trip!

that's not a bad angle

What is done can't be undone.
What can be done, is to be better.

Stop looking back, look forward

The past is history.
The future is a mystery.
This moment is a gift,
That's why it is called the present.

Oscar

There goes another round of Oscar. Since high school, I always has this weird thought of taking day off on Oscar day so that I could watch it live. And this thought still goes on today. But it never realise.

Thanks to internet, I can now watch the red carpet without setting my VCR recorder for 7am recording! Sarah Jessica Parker is too thin.

Overall position 2671

In the recent 10K run, one thing I am proud of is my power songs playlist!! I have tailor-made my very own power songs playlist with good thoughts, taking into consideration my foreseen conditions in each stage of the run.

Here are the songs in sequence. Total playlist time 1:16:26.

1. I Gotta Feeling - Black Eyed Peas (hike up to get into the momentum)
2. My Sharona - The Knack (bring higher)
3. Sexy Back - Justin Timberlake
4. Shut up and let me go - The Ting Tings (need female vocal to balance out)
5. Don't stop til you get enough - MJ
6. 4 Minutes - Madonna
7. Everybody's Changing - Keane (this is the worst point through out)
8. Maneater - Nelly Furtado
9. I Gotta Feeling - Black Eyed Peas (yes, it's a repeat, cos' that's the half way point)
10. Check it on - Beyonce
11. Love Sex Magic - Ciara/ Justin Timberlake
12. Cinderella - Rihanna
13. Nobody - Wonder Girls (Korean, a cute song)
14. Let's get retarded - Black Eyed Peas (at this stage, my legs are retarded)
15. Breathe - Blu Cantrell (Nothing else can be done but breathe)
16. Just Dance - Lady Gaga
17. Disturbia - Rihanna
18. Feel - Robbie William (at this point, we need a slow but strong song as I should be running towards the finishing line)
19. Where is the Love - Black Eyed Peas (a treat, right 5pf?)

I listen to the playlist again for twice after the run and the tune just reminded me about the bitter sweet of the run. It is motivating, seriously! That's what I need to pick myself up when facing difficulties in all aspects of life.

1:08:22, avg speed 5:53/Km

At one point, I'd like to challenge 58mins for this 10K. At the end, I finished 10 mins +. Well, after today's run, I realised the weather and the route matters.

Along the Eastern Corridor, there are at least 3 big up slopes and plenty of uneven path. Of course, I should also blame myself for being lazy and not trained enough after New Year.

The feeling of running this 10K is special. I was a bit nervous before the run (unlike the Unicef one so carefree). It reminded me of my swimming days, being a competitive athlete. I enjoyed this feeling.

The run started at 5:15am. The speed was on average 5:10/ km for the first 3K. Afterwards, I felt very hot and wanted to slow down, yet I pushed myself to keep up the rhythm as I know it would harder to pick up if not. I tried to hydrate myself at the water stop at 5K. Feeling better after the turn heading back west. The slopes were really the killers. And I was dehydrated again at about 7K while the next water stop is at 8K.

When I saw the finishing line, I almost teared... as I am done with the challenge... and it was damn tough... The walk between the finishing line and Hun, I was zombie like. And Hun told me, I must be dreaming of still running when I napped at his as my legs were kicking.

33...

We have a very enjoyable evening together on my birthday. Hun, against all odds, put together a little birthday celebration for me. Everthing is just neat and sweet. The wine, the food, the present, the little card, the cake, the kisses and hugs.

Dear 5pf

Letter to 5pf in the middle of 25th Feb...

As you know very well, I have my blues during Christmas, getting better for CNY and even better for this Valentines day... and peak at bday...

One day before my bday... I am pleased to let you know, everything is gonna be perfect as I wish... as I am being well taken care of...

Thanks for being there for me as my guiding angel always...

birthday wish...

may be a pint of cookies and cream would not be a bad idea...
the 10K will consume the calorie gain.

Can't ask for more as things are just perfect... why whine?!?
Tomorrow will be a better day!

Birthday week kicks off from now.

都呼呼入睡了, 手還牽着。

Feb 14th, 2010 was our first Valentines Day.

Hun insisted he doesn't celebrate the day, while I happily passed my little gift to him. Glad that we found harmony in our variance.

It was a comfortable and lovely evening like any other one we've spent together.

Chinese New Year Eve

Counting down to the new year.

This moment, I am contented. I have caught up with my friends and will spend the year end with family, while my hun is enjoying himself with his close ones as well.

I am looking forward to tomorrow. It is the new year and St. Valentines day and I am going to spend this special day with hun.

It's C day tomorrow. I have little expectation.
As long as there is a salary raise.

Silence

In the silence, I am listening to every beat of my heart.
Each becomes clearer.

In the silence, I am listening to my head.
There is no hatred but only bitterness.

In the silence, I hear nothing else.

是不是 在一起就好了？

這天我的話沒有太多。因為一切都變得沒意義。
我要的只是情人早上醒來的一個吻。我以為這是個簡單的要求。

如果連做這個都嫌浪費精神時間, 不如把我的心挖出來, 放進冰箱裡算了。

Feb Fab

My favourite month of the year. Chinese new year, Valentines day, birthday and spring~

Things happened for a reason...
I get to believe.

Grocery bag

I always enjoy shopping at supermarket. It's considered as a meditation to the busy city life
And now, having half home-cooked dinner for two, grocery shopping gives an extra meaning to me.
Smile ~

I am back

2010 is going to be a good year!

being honest

in practice... and progressing well.

We

It could be frustrated when one encounters a low tide in life. Nevertheless, one finds comfort in having someone by your side, listening with feedbacks...

At the end of the day, having a companion makes a different. I am glad that I found mine.

Sleepless in Seattle

I have watched the movie for over 20 times, on laser disc, dvd, Pearl, HBO or even plane. Last week, it was my first time sitting through over half of the movie with my back facing the screen.

Planning for our next holiday

The pleasure of the 5 days 4 nights Bali holiday begins!

After missing hun for 21 days, we reunited.
I stood there at the street, awaiting for his arrival. The feeling was just beyond words when I saw him getting out of the car and approaching me. That one kiss meant everything to me. Hun is back!

reminiscence (new vocab taught by steph)

was talking to hun over the phone about fetching him from airport express. afterwards, while imagining i am going to help hun with the luggage, a hidden memory was recalled...

back in time, hun met me at Euston!? and sent me off to Heathrow. i could still recall his help with the heavy suitcase up and down the staircases...

have been taken good care of since back then...

5pf's D said :

well, you're wearing a mask when you don't say what you think everytime

New motto

Be unselfish.
Be attentive.
Be humble.

2010 繼續

On new year eve of 2009, I blogged : The most important thing to me is I should continue my journey by listening to my heart. I am not a material girl, I am a dreamy romantic pisces.


On the first day of 2010, I'd like to continue my journey by listening to my heart. I am still a dreamy romantic pisces. This year, I am lucky to have another romantic pisces to share my journey with.

我們的世界和平...

an addition to the list