對生命有感覺嗎?

開心, 滿足, 憤怒, 希望, 期待, 激動, 憂鬱, 渴望...

剛剛看完 "奇蹟的夏天" 回來, 我問自己... 對生命有感覺嗎?

有感而發, 大喊... '我二十九歲, 我在為理想努力...'
只要盡力, 我便贏了!

Value

Well, being a person who appreciates experience in life, I have no regret being away from home for the past 3 years. Afterall, I treasure all the friendships I have gained in these years.

My father once told me, according to the Buddist saying, the probability of 2 related person meeting is extremely low. Don't know where the statistic comes from, he said, the next time you meet the person who sat next to you on star ferry this morning will be 200 million years later. Well, that shows how precious for you to meet someone and become friends (not to mention becoming boyfriend/ girlfriend)...

Thank you for all the friends I met on the road I travelled in the past 36 months...

Naive

Everytime we sat together, he would tell me, he was proud that we were still in touch. Why should he be proud while I have been the one who dedicate to preserve the relationship? I made every effort to keep the relationship alive. What has he done?

Two weeks ago, I decided to unplug and kill the 8-year relationship, as I did not see any point to continue giving endlessly. I am tired to be the one always taking the initiative. If he doesn't care, why should I?

I bury all the memories with no regret. I am just hopeless, period.

2 faces of Eve

Putting as much make-up as I can to make my small eyes look BIG. Deep blue, aqua green, black with gold dust...

Thinking Jay's new song deserves the top of the billboard, while asking why David Tao's can't stay at the top for longer...

Working my ass off on GMAT. Telling my boss I am going to devote 120% effort for the bank.

Knowing the fact that I am running out of time for the GMAT preparation, I am still laying my eyes on "The Amercian next top model"...

Why do you "google" me?

Tell me, have you ever google him or her or yourself?

Simply heartwarming

Arriving early to the client appointment, I simply wanted an escape from the office. I was 15 mins early while my client was 30 mins late. How much time has I been waiting? (sounds like a GMAT quantitative question) The correct answer is 45 mins. Painless because I have all the reason on earth to do my favourite passtime - daydreaming. Shut down almost for the whole 45 mins, besides ordering my kiwi juice and tea.

At lunch, I was giving an exaggerating speech in front of my customers. At the corner of my eyes, I saw him from his back. I thought I have mistaken. His sms to me said I was correct.

Anyways, after waving good bye to my clients, I quickly ran to the meeting place, sat down and ordered myself a coffee. Within minutes, he was there sitting beside me. We started chatting about everything. Topics ranged from coffee without sugar, how much is my rent, fat girl vs smart fat girl, pastime, Singapore... Just half an hour coffee break, I felt like coming out from a therapy.

Well, nothing complicated, it was just a heartwarming coffee break.

The agenda

This is a record of the low tide of my "career". I could be laughing at this entry by next September.

I have been the golden boy. It's time for me to learn a lesson. To learn that I am too honest, too much of integrity. These are the basic values in life, but not necessary valuable in the living jungle. Too bad that I am not the kind of person who can sleep well after covering up lies with bigger lies.

From today on, no genuine smile will be found in the office (well, office ain't a place for genuine smile, if you need one, do it at home). Everything is a fake. Just as faking an orgasm as you are pay to spread your legs and to satisfy your customer. In exchange, it is money.

It is just 11 minutes. Everything will be alright afterwards.

At the dinner table tonight, everyone seems to have something to bitch about their job but me. I am just indifference. I have no feeling nor passion about my job. I am just faking it. I am just faking it for the money.

What is in a relationship?

Being single, I always think grass is greener on the other side. In fact, it might not be true. Girls who are married or attached have their sets of problem. Their problems could be much complicated and draining than mine as they involve another human being, which is one of the most complicated creature on earth. Well, this has been discussed over a hundred times in Sex and the City.

Hang loose and click to view a cross over clip of Sex and the City and Matrix from YouTube: When Carrie meets Neo...

when I still enjoyed swimming...

I haven't swam for a long time, a serious swim, I mean. Not even when I was in Singapore, where there is a nice pool at my condo. It was just too bored to swim alone. Too bored to swim without competition.

I used to be in the school team and my specialty is free-style. I could finish 50 meter in 36 seconds. That was history.

I seem to be motivated when competition exists. To prove that I could do better than the others, I am willing to put extra effort. Just as now, I am spending most of my time preparing my GMAT. It is a competition too. BTW, I got 590 this week. Getting better.

Well, now I know why I am dragging myself to work everyday without enthusiaum.

Tokidoki... a beginning of an obsession

I am not alone...

BBS in the past, internet forum, discussion group nowadays are one of the best creations of the century. People discuss about everything on the net. Anything that is of your interest, there is almost a discussion threat.

My hot topic of coures is GMAT. I am reading latest discussions every night before bed. From the forum, I learn others study strategies and plans. Then I adjust mine a bit accordingly. Peer influence is very important. Reading the discussion encourages me through the painful time (not that I am very hard working, yet I have also sacrefised my "The Apprentice" re-runs on TV)

Here is a quote which enlightened me: -

First and foremost, you have to keep reminding yourself that your GMAT score is a direct function of the time and effort you put into preparation. Sure, you need a fair amount of intelligence.

The more I studied, the more I became convinced of this simple fact -- your score is NOT an intelligence gauge, it is a reflection of how well you have prepared for this specific test, how good you've become at answering GMAT questions. It's quite a narrow study area, and it CAN be mastered.

If you don't already have an 800 score, realize that every hour of preparation will improve your ability to score high on the GMAT.

quoted from Testmagic.com

blur like sotong

I came across this on the net. Hilarious! It said Singlish is an economical lauguage by counting how many syllables you can save while speaking.

English / Singlish

Hello, here is my passport. / Nah.
Where do I go to collect my luggage? / Take bag go where, ah?
You mean chewing gum is prohibited in Singapore? / Gum cannot, meh?
What shall we have for dinner this evening? / Tonight eat what, ah?
I' m open to suggestions. / Anything also can.
Do you have a reservation? / You early-early call, not?
Yes, it's reserved under the name “Tan”. / My name 'Tan'!
This way to your table, please. / Come!
What would you recommend? / Here got what, ah?
Our speciality is fine European haute cuisine. / Ang mor makan, lor.
Would you recommend this dish? / This dish how, ah?
It's alright. / Can, lah.
The steak here is exceptional. / Here the steak is tok kong.
We also have a fine selection of pasta. / Also got mee.
Perhaps the fettucine or linguine? / Mee pok, mee kia, also got.
Would you care to sample our desserts? / You want lizard?
May I have the bill, please? / (mime signing cheque)
The prices here are rather steep. / Wah, here damn ex, man.
Next time, I'd rather eat at a hawker center. / Go hawker center also better!

Singish was what disgusted me first when I settled in the country. But, it was also what I carried away with when I left the country.

Sofia

I was reading an article about Sofia Coppola. She is referred as "the icon". I think she is cool.

Before, I knew her as the daughter of Francis Coppola. She directed movies like Virgin Suicide, Lost in Translation (one of my favourite movies under the "heavy" catagory) and recent Marie Antoinette.

Besides being a director (the first female nominee ever for Oscar best director), she is also a designer, a photographer and a "muse" (products inspired by her, e.g. Sofiamini). She is an "icon" who people follows. Whatever item picked by her, be it a handbag or a pair of panties, it will become the trend. What impressed me was this: "a New York girl who never boost about how many pairs of Manolo she has and insists to wear flats as she likes. She has such heck care attitude simply because she wore Chanel since 11"

lost and found

I went ballistic last night when I realised I have lost my belt. A little black belt. I got out of bed at 2:00am and started searching for it. It was not at the usual spot in my closet. Then I turned my store room upside down and still couldn't find it. After 15 mins search, I sat myself down and tried to think hard where it could be. But I couldn't figure out.

Then I walked into the store room again and saw the little belt hanging on the back of a chair. I found it. I went back to my bed and sleep.

By the way, during the search, I found the long lost treasury bag, which contains two bracelets and one necklace from Tiffany. They were lost for about a year and have been written off.

Talking about lost items, ask 5pf what happened to me when my phone went missing at my apartment. I am just feeling insecured.

550

An encouraging result from the 2nd mock test today. Of course, there is a long way to reach my target (a.k.a. the bottomline of Insead's admission). So, 不成功, 便成仁.

After the test, I was wondering alone at Citysuper for a bit. Checking out the stationaries which are nicely displayed at store for the new school year. I like the pencils!

I always want to share this with you (but have forgotten for a few times): -

David Blaine, the street magician. I can non-stop watching him to repeat the same tricks to different ppl on AXN for at least an hour. I like the way he approached his "audience". He goes "can I show you something?"...

Lock to be Free

Felina, my yoga instructor, said "Lock your joints, then you can move freely".
It sounds contradicting? But it is true.

Snap

Here are a few snapshots from our tour in Hua Lian last weekend.